The best time to say happy birthday on facebook, is later in the day after everyone else has. That way everyone else (hopefully hundreds of people) will see your return response. Now that may seem narcissistic to some extent. But isn’t that what has been driving the popularization of social media?
Why else would any social network posts, have so little real content in and around them? I mean people post every little detail of their lives,..” I’m feeling tired! Going to bed.”…”off shopping at the mall after I call in sick. Let’s meet up.”…”D car died, the kids are crying, and I need a drink.”…” My cheating husband ran off with his girlfriend. Needs money! Selling his 2010 BMW less than 30K on it—$100.00 or best offer! Not a joke, just revenge!”…”That’ll teach that lying sack of S***!” You’ve probably read something like that too, along the way?
Psychoanalysis says, having an undue fascination with oneself while
tending to derive erotic gratification from admiration of one’s own physical or mental attributes–is what it is to be vain. It should also include, posting every unimportant going’s on about ones life on social media for the point of popularizing oneself, is what is to have an out of control vanity.
Yet with every little detail of your life posted 24/7 on Facebook, twitter, Instagram, snapchat, text messages, and or E-mail, just to name a few. Somehow that doesn’t define today’s social networking as being totally selfexsorbed, or a society addicted to vanity?
A friend posted, or should I say “Facebook” posted on his behalf that it was his birthday today. He kept checking his smartphone, which occasionally vibrated against the table top with every new birthday wish from social media. Our conversation was interrupted so many times not only with the constant hums of his social notifications, but also with his hunt and peck style of return responses.
” For Pete’s sake man, let the socially distant nudgenik’s alone for awhile.” Letting him know just how alone and distant I was starting to feel even though I was sitting across from him.
“Nudgenik’s!” He glared back at me, as if to say–it’s my birthday how dare you. He then added, “Are you jealous? Or is it because I have friends other than you?”
I casually let out a slight giggle. “What? Ha! You’re comparing Electronic greetings now…..for personal friendships?” He nervously fidgeted in his chair a bit.
“I would rather have the real deal over electronic interactions or greetings.”
“It’s the new age man. You may not like it but you have to except it. It’s here to stay.” He said while glancing back to his phone barely making any eye contact with me. I just contributed that to somewhat being embarrassed over the direction of our conversation. Hehehe, I was giggling inside, what Conversation? If you can call it that?
“Have it your way then.” I excused myself to go to the bathroom. It was a lie. I walked straight out and to my car, got in, looking back towards the window seat we were sitting, And that’s when I noticed he didn’t even flinch, not a bit. There he was still looking at his phone, typing. Typing, texting, with an angelic look of a little girl. Such an unbecoming look conning from a large guy.
I watched for what seem far more time than it took for anyone to go to the bathroom, still he remained statuesque, and glued into position.
I thought to myself, a Happy birthday man!
Not 5 minutes later, and several miles of distance down the road, he called. I pushed the accelerator a bit harder wondering if I should answer the phone? Even if I would have answered–what could I have said to get the point across…..
Who hasn’t had a run in with Facebook’s stupid rules of the road to social networking? Just setting up your privacy settings are a job by its self. The rules change all the time with Facebook, and often do just to confuse. Facebook’s main job is getting you the home player to give into giving up some or all of your privacy if possible, while still remain confusing to a large number of people, new to Facebook or old hat users it is all the same.
When Facebook shares something about you that you thought was private, it’s your fault because you screwed up the privacy settings. But when Facebook shares something about the founder’s sister – well, it’s still your fault, because “it’s not about privacy settings, it’s about human decency”.
It is like you can also pay your credit card off every month. The company just doesn’t want you to. Without paying interest, you’re a free rider. But credit card companies, at least, don’t openly scold consumers for not paying cash, when their very existence is built on swiping plastic. That’s what Randi Zuckerberg did.
That double standard surfaced when Randi Zuckerberg, the sister of Mark Zuckerberg and a former Facebook executive, posted a candid family photo that proceeded to take on an internet life of its own. The picture popped up in the news feed of Callie Schweitzer of Vox Media. She tweeted it. It went viral.
Facebook makes money when users surrender their privacy. The company has made it the user’s job to defend personal information, which otherwise might be made public by default. Got a problem with that? The company’s answer always has been that users should read the privacy settings, closely, no matter how often they change.
The thing that bugged me about Randi Zuckerberg’s response is that she used her name as a bludgeoning device. Not everyone has that. She used her position to get it taken it down,” Eva Galperin of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a privacy advocacy group in San Francisco told the Associated Press.
So the Zuckerberg’s hold you “Joe blow public” to a different standard then they who built the flawed system are willing to hold themselves. Only the stupid will make mistakes like refusing to read the privacy standards and then follow them to a “T” (of course if Facebook changes these standard of rules often), you’re still stupid for not reading and then updating your privacy settings.
Should you make a mistake, and the Facebook rules are designed to make them often. at which time all of the bitch-en in the world, or standing on your head or even an honest attempt at contacting a person at Facebook is for not? You’re battleing a machine not a human entity.
The thing that’s most insulting about Randi Zuckerberg’s response; her un-willingness to acknowledge her own stupidity for making a mistake. She chooses to attack all of the little people from her view-point of being one of the ultra-rich, as giving you “Joe Blow public” more responsibility then she herself has to her own family’s privacy.
Let’s face it Randi Zuckerberg you’re rich but that doesn’t entitle you to some special privileges unless you’re willing to buy them on the open market I guess. You put your pants on one leg at a time just like we all do, you eat, drink, and crap, and your crap stinks just like everyone else’s does. So when you get caught in the cogs of the machinery that your family built because you didn’t understand the terms of the privacy settings, and then took the time to activated them as you would have liked them to be. Why are we responsible to a standard of having any human dignity or decency greater than yours?
After all with computer machines, it is all about garbage in garbage out. So next time you should hesitate just a little before pressing that send button, just stop to think. Was I being prematurely stupid here? Remembering at the time of your distress, it is always the person in the room wearing the biggest smile on their face or (Facebook page) that has figured-out someone else to blame it on. Why should you and yours have all of the fun with everyone’s else’s privacy with no cost to your own? Let the user be ware.
http://gu.com/p/3cmd9/tw via @guardian
Ruining conversation starts like…. On a typical morning with a typical young person just waking up to start their day they reach for their life line, the cell phone. Firing off a few text messages, checking Facebook status, making new up dates, all before getting ready for school. Rolling out of bed, taking a quick shower must have woken up the brain cells. A quick text to mom with their request as what they wish to have for breakfast, and lunch, then picking out some clothes. Before getting to brushing their hair, and teeth. The answer comes back from mom.
” If you wish to talk to me I’m downstairs!” Mom yelled out in response to the text messages.
This is the new conversation in life, as well as the only interaction being played out in most teenagers households today. If it isn’t texts, or 140 characters in a tweet, or a Facebook profile up-date, it’s not a conversation. Teens just have different out looks for what is or is not a conversation. Parents or at least the older generation look at this new way of conversations, as very limited interactions. One line answers, one to two sentences at best in response to a question, happens to also be par for course today.
When parents ask a question. The likely answer will be. ” Didn’t you look at my Facebook page? Or Didn’t you get my text, or tweet? ” Parents who don’t make the effort in checking with these new media forms are therefore left-behind, unrecognized, or made to feel as unimportant old geezers.
Even college students communicate differently then the previous generations and their counter parts, or the next generation that follows them. Collage students recall, they will e-mail professors over the use of a phone call, they reserve their phone calls and some texts for mom and dad’s. Only if mom and dad’s have the necessary skills to text back. If not, then the occasional phone call will do. With employers they still make the call reluctantly, but hold the conversation as brief as possible, or avoided all together if possible. Choosing to e-mail as the official form of communication if the employer also has the capabilities. But with their peers they text. In some cases up to 6000 text a month, or more according to their cell phone plans. Even group texting, happens to be the new conversation of talking to everyone not in the same room. That is where you send out a text to multiple acquaintances all at once. Like.. “We are going to the mall.” Everyone on their list then can go to the mall if they aren’t there already to meet.
It is no wonder that the older you are, the more likely you will pick up on these new facts of modern conversation, and how it has changed. But has it? When the tell-a-phone was first invented the older generation probably said the same thing. Truth is that over the years the conversation did in fact change. Just now days the change is more noticeable do to the speed of the change takeing place.
For the youth of the day one liners as their answers isn’t all that out-of-place. multiple conversations on-line with twitter and Facebook, has more of an appeal as interactions with their friends. Often saying. ” It is just multi tasking with conversations! ” Yet they don’t even recognize that they have practically removed themself’s from society itself.
They are missing out on the facial expressions, body language, even the sound of laughter. All of these kinds of additions to conversation bring emphasis to the words spoken, yet they are fast being replaced with typing “LOL” or some such. Body language is becoming a lost art form, as well as having the ability in understanding it. Impossible to send and receive the messages sent by body language through social media of today, through texts, e-mails, even in some types of phone calls. Body language has then become just as impressive as a blank page. Yes with phone calls you can still hear the other person laugh. But their body language is left out of the picture. So a phone call, was the change though slightly, over the personal conversations of the past before the creation of the phone.
Don’t you think conversation should then be also filled with expressions, more than the some of our words used?
Social awkwardness has led to some types of social mistrust, anxiety, phobias, even stress through the lack of self-confidence within the interactions of people. It seems the younger people tend to have alow themself’s with their conversations at least, to hide out in plain sight so to speak. In other words, not being themself’s in every situation, even avoiding some interactions.
Even college professors have started to have students introduce themself’s in class. In trying to open the doors of conversation and being comfortable in talking with each other. Some students have expressed that they didn’t like it at first. But admit that they spend little time in conversations with each other in person. Texting has taken over their lives. Not surprising then to see a group of college students sitting around a semi-circle texting to who knows who, rather than talking with each other.
The ideas of expanding the use of on-line-classes, will therefore only magnify the social awkwardness. People are social creatures by nature. Social media has allowed an evolution to take place of unnatural interactions, there for people have a tendency for creating in thought unrealistic expectations.
The generational divide has then become the grand cannon between young and older people’s conversations. If you ever had the phone conversation like this…
Parent: ” So what are you doing?”
Young person: ” Nothing.”
Parent: ” So what is new? Or why did you call me, and for… I mean you’re not saying much and you called me, so lets talk.”
Young person: ” Just wanted to talk for a while.”
Yet still remaining quiet for the most part… Too much like a phone call where you have been put on hold. The phone to your ear, but nothing but silence to lessen to.
Of course once the phone call ends, if the parent can also master the art of texting and is willing to do so. These younger persons can then also pick up the phone and text for an hour or better. Yet talking in person over the phone is like pulling dragons teeth! This is also the same with personal conversations when these people come together. In one word conversation is, “limited”.
I suppose the old adage of. ” If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” apples to modern conversations. Of corse most people have things they wish to say to others. It is therefore all in the delivery of it.
Using social media today, younger people look at it as refining their conversations and multi tasking all at the same time. Getting to the point and then moving on as fast as they can, often at the blazing speed of the internet, and their abilities to type faster than their parents. Talking in person some how must seem to them as ultra slow, even a kind of slurring of words in comparison to texting, or e-mailing.
To the older generation yet young at heart, this kind of conversation is a source of frustration, and more of a separation. In stead of closing the generational divide, the cannon is filled with a lot of awkward moments. Closing the divide, only requires a conversation using 140 characters or less or so it seems. Body language however, will become, antiques, romantic gestures of the past, misunderstood, and under used, filling young minds with wonder.
When they’re faced with taking a mandatory college class in the future ” The art of conversation, using body language 101.” I hope they will finely see the light, that a life of being a hermit of sorts isn’t as fun or as exciting. In fact, expressions that people give is far more interesting at times then the words spoken.
I for one intend to use the new house rule of…. No texting under the same roof / or in the same room. If you have a request I’ll need to have at least a 500 word conversation or the answer will be ” Bla, Bla, Bla!” Using all of my 140 characters as the answer you seek but only hear. Unless you wish to have some degree of embarrassment? At that point I will be glad to post to all, and every kind of social media, for all to see, as the newest video pod cast of you throwing your tantrums. Of course your responses to me, will be held to the strictest of rules! Only being excepted if they are under 140 characters in length, using the sounds of your voice. Love your new house rules.
Ps. A hand on my hip, and the scowl on my face. Is body language! Definition of it is… ” Don’t test me! ”
Is social media then ruining conversation?
All the best
” Refusing to take some personal responsibility’s, is like taking a drink of water from a fire hydrant. We are never going to like the results! ” quote Mindwarpfx
Is it then time to ban certain words or phrases? Words all have meanings to them. This is why we use them to describe things, or to make a clearer description of things. Even when glancing through the dictionary someone can find words with similar meanings to them. Within the processes of using words, individuals can pick from the lexicon of sorts, the words that can be properly applied to the communications, explanations, or even their expressions that they wish to use. In a way that people can then understand them better. When we hear the term ( The N-word ) everyone knows the true meaning behind this phrase. Most people even know the historical content, or the origin of it. Yet upon hearing the phrase ( The N-word ) the first thing that comes to mind is the real word ( Nigger ). Within the person’s mindset, most if not all translate the phrase into the word, and set the meaning into what they are hearing within the speech given. It seem to me the word all by itself doesn’t make a racist. Yet some make clams that it does. The repeated use of it, just may be the racist views of some individual with a deep-seated secret hatred of people with dark skin. Just as it was historically. But in a class room setting when learning about the historical events of the past, or when learning about the literature of the past within a setting from when the term was invented and used. Is this then a study in becoming, or creating a racist views, or creating racism? Could this also be a form of racism? Is it really wrong to use it for instructional use only? Can the use of the term ( The N-word ) in place of the real word that everyone knows within their own mind, as to what those who would use it are meaning, can this be appropriate? If so? Why? Can ( the N-word ) being thus used in certain instances be used for the purposes of instruction and education rather than of hate, or the hate of one to another? Or is the use of ( the N-word ) in place of the word “Nigger”, also one of the same? Just hate speech that one would use to some ends in a misguided difference of degrees, for the same kind of hatred? Is it time that we change the english lexicon permanently and abolish the word and the term along with any representations, or phrases of the word permanently from its use? Do we really need the mind control of some agency, a sort of mind police, or cleaning agent called the lexicon cleanser, in order for people to get along? Just some cleansers of thought, with some lexicon cleansers to boot !
In Portland, Oregon a teacher was put on leave, because he used the word represented by the term ( The N-word ) in a way I would have hoped for, as only for the purposes of educational value of a historical study. (If there could any? ) But when it was expressed by a student that they were offended, the teacher then used ( the N-word ) as its replacement. Was this wrong? Was the student just overly sensitive? Is or was the school under some pressure to act on the behalf of someone who would be offended? Giving him ( the teacher ) a leave as some kind of Political correctness? Is political correctness solving anything? If so what exactly?
the book Huckleberry Fin has often come under fire for ( the n-word ) within this work. There are some who would like the book to be reprinted by changing the word, with the term ( the N-word ). Should we? Or is it time to exclude this book from educational instruction? If so what or who will make the definitions ( determined by whom ) as what is appropriate for everyone in kind, in determining any books for study? Is it possible to avoid offending some, without also offending someone else? In affect abolishing everyone’s offence of every kind. Can we really accomplish this at all?
Checking in with twitter as in doing some researching on the modern expression, of terms used by people in society today. Was truly eye-opening. You can find just about anything on the internet. Despite the fact that people on the net are not always who or what they portray themself’s to be. Despite having this knowledge I was able to find people using terms like.. ‘ Hay Nigga, What’s up my Nigga, You Nigga’s, or Don’t be such a gangsta Nigga and get with that bitch!” It took only a few minuets to find such expressions made by people who also had pictures of people of color as their profile picture. This doesn’t always mean that they are what or who they say they are, even in these pictures used on their profile. often these comments were made to others, with profile pictures of people of color as well. So One must assume that these usages of the word, “Nigga ” was used like terms of endearment, non offensively. But I for one would have to believe if someone else were to try in using these terms in a non-offensive way, ( If that is even possible ) would then be met with extreme opposition. Even maybe by these same people prehaps.
Who then makes the determination of what exactly offends in society? Should there be some thought police willing to use some political creativeness of some lexicon cleansers, to scrub the offence right out of your individual minds?
Do we in modern society then have a hidden lexicon? Do we have a white language, and a language for people of color? Should we even? Do we have words now determined ( by whom exactly? ) to be only words used by one ethnicity? With words do we need different definitions depending on the ethnicity of the user?
In our modern language and the changes that take place over time. Has it just come to a point of using terms like.. ” (The N-word ), or the C-word, or even throwing the F-bomb, or describing things as being F’ed, F’en, or applying the end all to every kind of interchange by saying F-OFF!! ” as being the educated way in using strong language of off-color,as being acceptable by everyone in an end all way? Seems like it to me! We even have these usages of terms in the TV out lets, and in the media in general, and in the news of the day, as well in radio broadcasts, even within our churches. Ministers, that I have heard using the terms of ( H double hocky sticks ), as the replacement for the word ” Hell ” or even ” GD ” as ” GOD DAMN “. But is this a true cleansing of language? Or more of a childish way of expression ” Wink, Wink, I’m getting away with something that I shouldn’t be saying in the first place.” All the while excusing ones self ” I didn’t say anything wrong!”
Have we all just become excepting of these terms like most of us in society excepting white lies over dark lies? Isn’t a lie a lie? Following our politicians who make careers on the basis of lies, by lying like a real pro. With no real fallout or opposition by any people anywhere. Isn’t this just a kind of reflection of how far we have come in becoming valueless.
Weather we use the term ( The N-word or the whole word ) how can anyone then be truly offended by usages of words and or of terms, which by definitions are one of the same, only difference being the ethnicity of the user? When there seem to be different definitions of what offends or what is plain offensive.( A reference to the terms being thrown about twitter. )
Words are not racist by themself’s. But words are invented along with definitions and applied to them by people who easily could have a racist mindset. These words should be then limited by their use, by everyone. Not by decree, or mandate, or some political correctness using manipulations of the people through fear. But because we have determined on our own as being wrong! If a term offends. Then the user of such terms is making a choice to offend. But is a teacher using terms to illustrate past hatred in as a historical context, out to offend? If everyone also knows before hand in hearing the term ( The N-word ) as referring to the whole word of ” Nigger “. as being offensive, is it not then just as inappropriate to use? If one offends then the other should also equally offend!
To many times, we in society look at the terms that people use as making a judgment about them, if not even an accusation of them. This leads to making an assumption of what was truly ment by their words, and the selection, or usage of them. All the while reserving the same thoughts within our own minds about the user in return. Just in secret. But does this lead to changing anything? If we just judge everyone to some self-imposed standards, shouldn’t we then live up to these same standards for ourself’s? In other words if we are offended, why would we even try to change the definitions of terms / words, all to be able to use them without the same offence implied?
People who choose to hate, can be found in every ethnicity. Finger-pointing of one group to the other, or to hijack a term, so that only one ethnicity can use it without offence. All the while reserving a different definitions of the same term, one being more favorable, and the other being hateful. Only applying a mismatched standard to its use, after determining the color or ethnicity of the user. Is wrong! Wrong! and even more WRONG!
We can not legislate new laws in a misguided efforts to control the thoughts within people’s minds. In essence creating the thought police by the use of political pressures of political correctness. This will only drive the haters under ground, back deep into the darkest of thoughts in their own minds of hate. In an effort to preserve their misguided ideas of a racial divide. In the end continuing to hate some more. Political correctness try’s to limit the thoughts in all people,( good intentioned or bad ) by making them feel un-comfortable for thinking. But those who hate, also choose to be uncontrolled in thoughts, even failing to control themself’s for the most part with themself’s.
We should never accept sweeping the dirt under the rug so to speak, as an approve exception for using the term ” the N-word ” in place of a word that we also have determined to be too offensive to use in public and just the same for the use in privet. Applying the lessons learned while we were kids, at least I’m hoping that all people learned this… ” If you don’t have anything good to say , then don’t say anything at all.” would be the best choice to make rather than using these terms. Some times this would be the most powerful speech of all!
If we feel that we need to describe someone elses offences by some use of terms, but just in that special way of saying it without really using the whole term in its entirety. Is just dancing with the devil, in order to be salacious? Not any real reporting of events, cases, or crimes. We really do not have to know every detail of every case down to just what word was spoken.
The media of the day is only interested in the tactics of agenda setting. Agenda setting is the idea of not being able to control what you personally are thinking. But rather in controlling people as a whole as to what they all are thinking. This changes people, and society by manipulations through political correctness. But changes brought about by manipulation aren’t real changes at all. Those who feel manipulated may change, but those who are not threatened by manipulation are for the large part unaffected, and so unchanged.
” A person changed against their own will is of the same opinion still. ”
If we continue to use terms like ” The N-word, or the C-word, GD, F’en, F’ed, or even throwing the F-bomb “, around just to mention a few. Are we not just producing an accurate reflection of ourself’s for all to see. A society of valueless people, or at best people who will do little to nothing to preserve values. How is this an improvement, within all of our relationships with each other? Isn’t this just a way for those who once were in your face racist’s, to have become the hidden racist’s in plain sight?
Untill we recognize that there will always be offences of some, by actions of others in everyday life. All the while if we don’t also excepting some personal responsibility’s in every choice we make. We then must realize we alow ourself’s to be influenced by outside forces of both good, as well as evil. Realizing this we can then make improvements to ourself’s if we would only choose to. This may also make some changes in society as well. Excepting an attitude of less than, while also excepting the usages of terms all ready mentioned truly damages us all as a society of people. We should celebrate the differences, as well influence each other in a more positive way. We can then choose to influence positive potential in everyone, instead of micromanagement’s of sorts using political correctness, only succeeding in a slower managed decay!
” Judge not anyone by the color of ones own skin, but by the content of ones character.” MLK
” No amount of tyranny can ever control everyone’s own thoughts, of peace or hatred alike. So the ideas of equal justice and freedom are indestructible. But to obtain them is the challenge. They can only be accomplished by individuals making the choices of talking some actions ! ” quote Mindwarpfx
All the best.