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Breakthroughs 


Never underestimate the awesomeness of someone disappearing from your life, who would rather hold you back from change, in order to remain in comfortable surroundings. Even if that someone should be you!

Never allow yourself to accept an average existence to someone else’s expected conformity to their dreams. But seek out the your own path of breakthroughs.

Some say, if you make good sound judgments, breakthroughs will seemingly fall from the sky. Life will be easy. You’ll be an overwhelming success. But then good judgments come from experience. And all of that comes from bad judgments being made in the first place.

So it is easier to look for the easy way out of any of life’s problem by seeking out a miracle breakthrough provided by someone else to you. But then, you’d be living up to someone else’s risk reward, success or failure, dreams vs. realities, not to mention their willingness to extend their own efforts to you. Not really any breakthrough you can hang your hat on. What is this thing called a breakthrough really?

Breakthrough’s are those small moments in our life, in specific portions of time, where we have tried so hard to overcome an impossible problem, and then we get one more flash of an idea that enters our brain. Now try this! Is that sudden spark of an idea kindled in our subconscious and all it takes is that spark to create a fire, to uncover that breakthrough. Be it a specific answer that we’re looking for. To that working challenge, or some relationship challenges, or just some great obstacle encountered along life’s road towards our dreams, all of these things may require another try. When seemingly we have already made all of the then known attempts at overcoming them.

If you are looking for a breakthrough, or trying to overcome a problem, within yourself, or within a relationship, at work, or with a working relationships and or project. In short, solutions to all. We must remember there is no such thing as a drive-through breakthrough. There is no fast food ordering window for some future success with little efforts. There is no such thing as a happy meal without effort made of ourselves in finding those breakthroughs. There are only moments or pauses where we have to wait for that lightning strike of an idea to enter our thoughts–creating a pathway that may also produce that breakthrough we are looking for. Yet an idea alone isn’t any guarantee that a breakthrough is happening, or will happen.

Solutions come from trying things. Learning from things, learning things from our efforts while actively trying to move forward. We only get to have breakthroughs by going through. We don’t get to see changes happen without efforts unless we are weather watchers. Sometimes the biggest changes that need to happen in our life’s are also keeping us from a breakthrough, change that needs to take place within ourselves, changes that are so often also avoided.

Consider just how hard it is to change yourself, and you’ll understand what little chance you have at changing someone else. Yet, we do try. Don’t we? To often we try to change others for our own comfort, while we repeatedly bath in our own discomforts. Don’t expect someone else to make any efforts that you’ll need them to make in order to attain your dreams. You’ll be more often than not disappointed.

The next time you’re tempted to take the drive-through route towards a perceived outcome, goal, wish, or some visionary expectation we have for ourselves, thinking we are creating our lives as they would’ve turned out by now already. Don’t be disappointed, frustrated, and or depressed, but be thankful.

“Be thankful for your struggles, because without them you wouldn’t have found your strengths.” (Quote unknown)

And without strength of endurance, brought about by repeated actions, that wonderful world of breakthrough’s may be just beyond your reach. Reaching one small goal at a time and then moving on to the next, is what propels us to great heights. Success may look to be always out of our reach. But looking backwards for prospective, our life is a pathway of stepping-stones, stones of one success after another that we have walked upon. Beyond the hear and now is the unknown, there is the unseen obstacle, the unthought-of breakthrough, and yet, over time we will have moved along some more of life’s stepping-stones of success.

Life isn’t fair! So we shouldn’t expect equal outcomes. We shouldn’t compare ourselves to others despite the fact that we both have walked along life’s same pathways for a time. Life wasn’t supposed to be measured by some medium of score keeping. Nor should we measure it by the amount of breaths we take. But rather measure the value of life or success by the times something has taken away your breath with amazement. Sometimes realizing a breakthrough to our problems isn’t a real breakthrough at all. Doing something we’ve known about in the back of our minds, and still choosing not to do it; even when we then change our choice and do it. That choice doesn’t really qualify as a breakthrough. That’s avoiding the obvious? Maybe the biggest breakthrough in our individual life’s, is accepting that our attitudes are usually the biggest obstacles encountered as we work towards our goals.

All the best.

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Mama, needs a new pair of shoes!


We all view ourselves as being somewhat successful until we look over that fence. Is that also the exact moment we become impatient?

Money has a funny effect on people. It makes us do strangely stupid things so we then have something to complain about when we see someone else with more.

It was on the radio where I heard, who can survive on a food budget of $5.00 per day? It took only a fraction of a second for my reply to be screamed out at the radio, unheard of course. “I can!!” I shook my finger at the invisible disc jockey. The talk then quickly went down that political road of misplaced and totally misguided need for more government charity of sorts. Not that there is anything wrong with charity! But the government! They can’t even balance their budget, net alone eliminate wasteful spending in favor of doing more self-proclaimed good.

Why do we all look for the “big easy”, that over sized score? To advantage ourselves in the abstains of making an reasonable effort on our own?

“Unequal efforts will harvest unequaled results.” Quote unknown

What would you do for the winning numbers to a lottery? A 100% chance of winning! Despite the facts that any lotto’s / gambling game of chance by design, produce more losers than winners. Why do people want to pay for an instant chance to revel in ecstasy? Yet while we all feel that the so called winners in life are just people that have more then we do. Stop throwing it all away! Why are we so reluctant to purchase conservatively a winning outcome, (at any reasonable price (unlike a lotto ticket)), some kind of something? Anything! Except that lotto like voodoo cream, that promises to remove some of risks associated with living inside a life of chance by 100% of the time betting on a underdog? That underdog is the player. Instead we bet our last dollar on that losers dream, receiving nothing, not even the moisturizing effect from the voodoo cream.

If you see yourself as a winner, then follow what winners do. (The same definition still applies–winners are people with more stuff / money / material things, than what we have.) So why don’t we follow those kinds of people? Gripping must be more fun for the majority.

Instant gratification is always a one way street leading towards renewed feelings of sadness, feeling lonely, disappointed, depression, or feeling under valued. Which leads to taking bigger chances and bigger risks. There is nothing to protect you from yourself if you don’t feel worthwhile, and precious enough to protect ones self from taking too much risk. Aren’t you priceless like I am? Or the way I like to feel about myself is that I’m a priceless work of self-art. Why does anyone need the excitement of winning big once in awhile, (Come on! Come on numbers! Come to Papa, Mama needs a new pair of shoes) or so says the rational of the gambler. Or should you only want to have steady small winnings over time, or small savings saved over time, turning those savings into a good sized nest egg? I know! That doesn’t carry the same degree of excitement with it. It’s hard to work for it—but betting $50 to win a weeks worth of pay….that’s exciting!

About as exciting as the self-invented sport of dodge the bill collector when your $50 short?

The problem with small winnings are that most people view them as picking up pennies in the street while trying to avoid the speeding on-coming steamroller. Usually first thoughts are–it’s not worth fighting traffic or waiting for traffic to subside to be able to pick those penny’s up! Even after picking them up, living the life of the ultimate gambler so to speak– putting your life on the line trying to avoid public ridicule from friends, there’s the question, Now what? What to do with bunches of pennies?

Truth is McDonalds perfected the picking-up of pennies, by exacting a few cents worth of profit with every transaction–repeated multiple times as fast as they can per day. Over time this leads to millions of dollars of profits. We all love McDonalds don’t we? Aren’t they also successful? Looking for a success mentor or just copying successful people or organizations can also lead to individual success.

On a personal scale what could you do in your life to change (by picking up pennies) your longer term finical outlook?

Remember it only takes small / very small moves repeated again and again over time to make a difference. And differences are made through advanced planing. Un-equaled efforts lead to unequaled results.

Example: American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad in first class.

Take a look around in your life and seek out big results with repeated small but easy moves to be made daily. You’ll be happy with the results over time. Maybe you’ll be a bigger winner than you thought of yourself at the same time?

So what’s your “Mama needs a new pair of shoes” move, those small moves that you’ve done in collecting a bigger piece of that successful pie?

All the best.

The nemesis


Dan’s head was throbbing as he rubbed his eyes desperately trying to remove the black spots he was seeing. A damp, sweaty hot moist air-filled with dust and steamy radiator coolant enveloped the convertible passenger compartment. Just moments ago it was an idyllic afternoon, then, the world became motionless followed by a splitting headache, and the amped up sounds of colorful language. Dan surveyed the condition of his surroundings, the car’s interior, and where the driver Bob was.

But that was now! And how it all came about over the course of an hour or two was just like this…

The phone rang! It was Bob who was all too excited to have heard the voice of his friend Dan on the other end. “Hay get your stuff ready for a ride of your life in the beast!” Bob didn’t even wait for an answer before adding, “I’ll be over in just a minute.” And just like that, before it really got started the call ended.

Dan rubbed his glazed over eyes. A night of cramming for exams, and now the lack of caffeine coursing through his half-asleep body left him barely able to comprehend this latest phone conversation, net alone realize it was 4:30 in the afternoon. All the strength he had went into following his all too familiar morning routine of making strong coffee. No sooner did the sugar and creamer break the surface tension of coffee in his mug when the doorbell rang, followed by the rapid drum-roll knuckle knocking, it was Bob’s patented style.

Dan walked to the door, mug in hand, fresh coffee stain on the front of his tee-shirt and opened it. Bob rushed through the doorway as if he was a breath of fresh air, just like an invisible ghost was giving chase. Bob’s mouth was moving, arms were waving, his head was bobbing, but Dan was still waiting for his morning jolt to fully kick in to understand it all. Dan could now see why his parents said, Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future. With only half a cup of coffee injected and some 3 hours sleep, it wasn’t time for a high-octane encounter with Bob.

“Are you alive in there?” The basketball player’s hands grabbed Dan shoulders with a semi-firm grasp, garnering his total attention. “We are about to have a night of our lives. We have the “Beast”, and it’s ready to roll. We have some nice girls waiting for the BBQ of their lives. All is good in our world. So! May I ask? What is it with you and acting like your one of the walking dead?” Bob asked, with his eyes transfixed just inches from Dan’s face.

There is tremendous value in small congregations coming together, even if it is just one friend meeting up with another. Of course friends are supposed to influence, support, to engage and encourage, as well as push you along despite of any particular personal emotions. But the spark that lights the fire and gets the ball rolling farthest for guys is the mere mention of girls.

It wasn’t long before the wind was whipping through hair. These were the halcyon days of fuel prices, so the throaty throb of the big V-8 gulping gallons of gas didn’t dampen any of their enthusiasm. This was a caffeine high punctuated by a redline RPM thrill ride, just two college friends leaving the worry of term papers, finals, and professors saying, “You could’ve done better”, far behind. On Dan’s lap were the condiments along with other ingredients to the BBQ Bonfire night of their lives. Food, music, girls, fire, and a spectacular view of the city on a starry night, what else is needed to forget all about your troubles?

The eight-track tape spun out catchy tunes, Dan and Bob did their best to sing along while adding in some drum solo’s by rapping on the dashboard and steering wheel. The convertible wound its way up the hills towards the overlook. The overlook was a flat place on the edge of the rim of the canyon, overlooking the city far below. This was where college kids would gather to make out. But occasionally celebratory bonfires would light a commemorative spectacle of some sporting victory, along with a keg or two. Neither of which was the case tonight. Tonight was a time to remember for a life-time, because you’re only young once.

Bob was enjoying the raw power of his convertible taking corners sharp and sling shooting out of them using the raw power of 350 some odd horses instantly unleashed while depressing the accelerator to the floor. The car responded to the silent commands of Bob’s thoughts and his lead foot. Taking a corner a bit too cavalierly Bob and Dan were suddenly confronted with a split-second decision. There in the road, was a large, lifeless skunk. It had met its fate in their lane just off-center of the dividing lines, and Bob loath to run it over again. The only thing faster than his reaction was the thought of the odoriferous imprint on his showroom convertible. The beast as it was called couldn’t show up to the bonfire smelling like ass. What kind of impression would that leave?

Dan’s mouth just began to move and at the same time his hand snapped forward, pointing his finger in the direction of the motionless heap in the road. His cohort jerked the steering wheel in an effort to veer just past it. As fate would have it the car plowed straight into the ditch.

Dan’s head was throbbing as he rubbed his eyes desperately trying to remove the black spots he was seeing. A damp, sweaty hot moist air-filled with dust and steamy radiator coolant enveloped the convertible passenger compartment. Just moments ago it was an idyllic afternoon, then, the world became motionless followed by a splitting headache, and the amped up sounds of colorful language. Dan surveyed the condition of his surroundings, the car’s interior, and where the driver Bob was. The condiments along with other ingredients had become pools of kaleidoscopic pickle-laced colors complemented with the unmistakable aroma of their nearby nemesis.

Bob was kicking dirt onto the lifeless skunk, braiding it with obscenities, oblivious to the smell of skunk and rotting meat; occasionally glancing in the direction of his poor car cradled by the roadside ditch, just to renew his energy of angry outbursts against the motionless perpetrator to their dilemma. There were only two real choices to make now. Either way it seemed like it was going to be a long walk down the hills to get help, or the road up the hills, leaving the car just where she sat while trying to salvage the night and go for the bonfire.

There is so much in life that we can change, but then, there are some things we can’t change. A person can become a skunk in your life’s path for 1 of 3 reasons. 1) They want to be you. 2) They hate themselves. 3) They see you as a threat.

Isn’t life a lot like that? I mean everyday life, where even small decisions have to be made despite uncertain outcomes or unquantifiable risks to each possibility in choosing. We all have friends and we all should have heard those famous words by now “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” And therein lays the rub, finding quality people who are also willing to be perfectly honest with you no matter if you want them to be in the first place. Those same people who are at one time friends can then also become out of jealousy, or laziness, your detractors, critics, hecklers, or disbelieves, of your ideas or even of you personally. Just because the way you choose to live life. When all you’re doing is chasing your dreams. Sometimes people become paralyzed with fear, unable to move forward towards their dreams because of their friends–who turn out to be more like road kill skunks; raising a stink over the fact that you’re moving along towards your dreams and they’re not.

Misery Loves Company, so why not spread the wealth, is the philosophy of what seems to be behind those complaints and magnifications made by so-called friends when pointing out possible negatives along the way. Why do people do that? Why don’t they just jump in, be happy for you and your ambition and offer support instead of drawing attention any potential negatives.

Any worthwhile success is built on overcoming negative obstacles.

Don’t listen! Don’t follow them! Don’t let them blind you with uncomfortable visions and strange uncomfortable bouquets of negative possibilities.

It’s lonely at the top because so few people put their fears aside and push forward—living outside the state of fear. Instead they’re gladly accepting an average existence. While there are forces of compliance and conformity in this society, accepting their solicitation is all to accepting of lowering individual standards in becoming average! Average to a point of just being the same as everyone else; when in truth everyone seeks separation through individualism.

 

The shortest distance between point “A” and “B” is a straight line. Sometimes that means running the risks of running over that skunk in the road again / or leaving a friend behind that is holding you back from your dreams. While we all should be embracing those friends who will share the art of chasing dreams, while offering help in those times perfumed with skunk odor. Life isn’t about the successes we have or share. It’s about the good memories we create with quality people along the way as we travel in similar directions towards individual dreams, sharing those common goals of searching for success through adventure. Without great efforts made, we can never evaluate what is the true value of anything worthwhile. Sometimes the chase is what defines success, and its worth, not just capturing it.

Bob and Dan story is just that, a life’s story they will shared forever. A happening that strengthened their relationship into a life time friendship, and sometimes finding one of those kinds of people “A life time friendship” is worth all the success you could ever find in the world.

Keep your eyes on those dreams and those destinations not those obstacles along the way. Hold your nose, and drive straight through all of your oppositions.

Is cash king?


Absolutely there’s no point in comparing your relative wealth (or anyone else’s for that matter) to someone living in the Third World; or perhaps someone living homeless in the streets of some major city, just as there is no real point in comparing your own relative poverty to Bill Gates and other ultra-wealthy individuals.

Not only do people tend to make excuses for themselves for a variety of reasons, but making comparisons that are often the foundations those excuses are built upon is par for the course.

Making comparisons for comparison sake only feeds the ego, for good or ill, fertilizing those feelings personally within each of us towards the rapid growth of shame. Comparisons just become the express-lane-route toward destination unhappiness. Modern fashions, desires, and the unnatural need of constantly changing styles; these ideas created in the minds of consumers are not only the marketing strategy’s within advertising, but their goal is recreating the consumer into zombies, who’s actions are filled with emotional consumerism.

The Personal desire of products as advertised sets the pace of the modern rat race. Supplying products, those true needs of people defines exactly what it means to be a slow growth industry. For the sake of profiteering, business tends to feed the silent and personal addiction of making comparisons of one’s self and their current positions in life by comparison’s to others; by using their weapon–advertising. They market their products by any means possible. Through the use of advertising they drive profits by driving individual mind-sets towards a mindless emotional materialism.

There is a real difference between needs and wants?  Unfortunately, advertisements seem to be the pea soup thick fog separating the two in the minds of many.

Advertisement agencies along with their financial partner’s promote the popular over use of easy money, like credit cards to make purchases. All of which are responsible for changing, guiding, and directing, even navigating the human spirit, slowly at first, in the direction of materialistic greed. It doesn’t take long before we have real apathy towards our real needs. Tempted by believe, so we tell ourselves…. “We worked so hard, too hard in fact, to end-up neglecting ourselves or our wants.”

There is no surprise when we find ourselves in some department store, looking at whatever, not even thinking, that our closet at home already has several pairs of whatever in it–like shoes, clothes, or even an assortment of gizmos and widgets. When asked, what does that do? We stammer, pause, and then with a blank look, reply,” I don’t know! But it was priced right.”

It’s long been said that money can’t buy you love. But good credit in our modern world buys lots of doohickeys, the drug of feel-good self-love; a type of economic masturbation, and so like with most drugs, or addictions, those feel-good feelings only last so long and never seem to out-last our money in the bank.

Isn’t it time to let go of the empty desires for material things and immaterial things, rediscovering those honest differences between true needs and desirous wants?

With every monthly payment made on any number of credit cards that most consumers have in their wallets, the stress in the air always seems thickest on that day the payment is due. When on that day everyone should realize or at least face the facts, you’ve been crossing oceans for some people who wouldn’t even jump mud puddles for you. If you don’t agree? Check out your interest rate charges that you’re paying on those cards for the privilege of spending money you haven’t earned yet. People have become so used to making those card payments, it seems almost normal. But it isn’t at all. Credit cards have only been around since 1958,with the introduction of the dinner’s card.

If you would ask a person to dream a bit and tell you what they would do if they won the lotto? They would weave a colored tapestry of dreams. Ask that same person what they would do with all of the extra money if they wouldn’t have any credit-card payments to make? They would give you that look–as if your were asking them to swim across the Pacific Ocean.  There would be silence for a time, if the mind would only freely speak it peace, it would say—are you crazy! I wouldn’t have anything at all. Nothing! Nothing at all without credit cards. How life has changed in a few short years to believe that financial success requires someone to be in debt or suffer having nothing at all.

It’s no real surprise when people call up their credit card company hoping to get an extension of credit, or a lower interest rate; they act as if it’s just a small thing for a big company to do for them. Come on; just jump this little mud puddle for me…just this once? And when things are a bit tight for the month; making just that minimum payment is as wide of a swim as the Pacific Ocean.

Nobody seems to value time as the most valuable possession anyone has. No one sees that with every heart beat they’re giving someone else a piece of their lives. A paycheck doesn’t represent money alone; it represents a sold portion of one’s life. And so when we spend money frivolously on things we don’t really need, we are wasting a small amount of our lives, a portion of the grand sum total of limited heartbeats in our lives.

“The greatest gift to can give someone is your time. Because when you give time, it’s a portion of your life you can never get it back again.”

Yet with money people seem to think, “We can just work and make more.”

The credit card is that thief in your pocket, wallet, or purse, stealing your quality and quantity of time, your life; while charging outrageous sums for the privilege. The credit card is that temptation, that fertilizer that feeds the fires of neglect, apathy, and greed as it devours your time to live.

Oh how impatient people we have become. Willing to make a gamblers bet on our remaining time in our lives. Throwing away hours of life spent at work, a slave to credit.  If we only saved our time and time we spent working, to pay for those credit cards and interest charges when we were young. How much earlier in our lives would we have been able to stop working and start enjoying; not only with those things we could have purchased, but with savings we would have both time and those things to be enjoyed at our leisure.

The average person from the age of 20 to 60 spends 10-15% of their income on credit cards and finance charges, and another 10-15% on cars and trucks and those finance charges. That’s 20-30% of your income over a life time spent because you couldn’t wait, because you have plastic in your pocket. That works out to be 47.14 days worked in one year just to make those payments. That’s 5.16 years you could have retired earlier if you didn’t have those finance charges and would have saved something. Saving the money instead of spent it, not counting future time saved not having to work….. That would come out to $1,600,000.00 assuming a 7% compounding return on investments; in addition to all other retirement investments saved.

That plastic thief in your pocket—that famous advertising line that said, “What’s in your wallet?” That thief! Is trying to steal your potential, your time, and your life away from you. If you didn’t charge that extra $100 dollars on that card, but saved it, it would grow to over $8,000 dollars over a working life time.  Using the average income of today, you would have to work 7.1 weeks at 40 hours per week to make that 8K.

The average auto depreciated 40% from its purchase price in the first 2-3 years. The average car payment in America is $500.00 per month for 60 months of time. If you saved for 10 months, $500 per month, you could buy a $5,000 dollar car. If you continued to save that same amount, in 10 more months you could sell the 5K car and add the new savings to it and buy a 10K car. For cash! In 3 years of time from your first car purchase you’ll be able to buy a $20,000 dollar new car with zero payments. When the average person is driving that same kind of car, a 3-year-old car with 3 years still left to pay on it. Under the same assumptions in 3 years of time when the average person is finished paying for their new car, the saver would be buying a new $30,000 dollar car.

If your saying to yourself right about now, “that’s not so”. I think you should know….The average millionaire in America drives a 2-year-old auto and buys them for cash. In the example of saving $500 per month (That’s the average auto payment financed in America) you would be doing exactly as the millionaire does. Copying success! Working smarter not harder, so when that credit card asks what’s in your wallet? You can answer…CASH!

Credit cards are like a deck of cards. At first your relationship is all hearts and diamonds, but when the monthly bill comes, and your limits have met their limit, those cards become clubs and spade’s trying to bury you.

How to embrace the life you never planed on having.


Just what do you think about motivational speakers? Do they really work, on reacquainting some individuals with the motivation to go out and live life? Have we all come to be frustrated, with living to a point of not knowing how? So we need motivation!? Or is it that we never have really answered all of our questions, that we may have on living life? I certainly don’t have all of the answers either. But I guess you didn’t get the big dusty old book of the top shelve in your parents house with the title of, ” Life’s great rules book!” or was it ,”Don’t plan to much, life is disappointing! It’s all to make you stronger.” or this ” Success in 5 minuets a day!” But what is life’s success? Is it money, houses, cars ( luxury cars, or for “kids”, cars like in “pimp my ride!”), hot women, trips, jobs ( not the kind of jobs like… do you want fries with that? But important jobs.) and ect.. is that success? So just how do you prepare yourself for life, when you grow up? How do you embrace the life you never planed on having? do you know?

Watching the show entertainment tonight on TV. one night. I saw stories about “burnout in hollywood”. It was hard for me to relate to these people who seemed to have the world by its tail. They were ( I mean the people I’m talking about) all good-looking, they had money, homes, could do anything they wished for, and seem to have no problems finding good-looking people to be with or have as a spouse, in sharing life together. So what gives, working too hard? Having some troubles on how to spend their money, or where to spend it, or was it that they already have 5 houses full of stuff, and have more than one of everything? ( You know sending some my way was over looked from your lists! Thought you would like to know.) But for real! Was it the money, or finding the time for the spending of it, this clearly wasn’t the problem! Yet, here is the stories about burnout. After the show I had a better understanding. Drugs, alcohol, parties / over indulging of them all, loves and lovers that used them for  ATM’s!! All of these things would ware on a mind and the self-confidence or the esteem it controls. Mental conditions were also part of it, but was not mention. The condition, where one would think that everyone wanted their money, and they had little else to offer. Was this a way to live a life, where everything came your way because a lucky break, or your good looks, and or acting skills as the talents you possess. Success seemed like a curse on these people for some reasons, and life was just tarring them down despite a bright future. Maybe they never totally knew how to embrace the life you never planed on having.

motivational speakers, financial planners, business managers, groupies, also known as body guards, religious advisors, just to name a few, as these people had come to be trusted in there lives. They all were being paying for services that should have also included in it, looking out for their employer first! Right? But the folly of that is everyone looks out for themself’s first, then the employer. If they feel like they were about to lose their jobs because of what ever. They will find a way to build up the importance they bring to the table and try to give an impression that they are ir-replaceable. That’s “looking out for number one.” as we all know it. No one likes to be faced with, or have to deal with, the uncertainties of life. Few of us really control everything in life, and few of us control the things that we can in life. Both will give the impression that life is totally out of control. This is only a half truth, we can control some things in life, like where we are going to live, the kind of house we live in, what car we drive, who are friends are, and when we will do things with them, just to name a few things in our control. But the things we don’t control entirely is natural disasters, health, relationships, when we die…ect. I think you get the picture. What is important, ” is to choose to control what we can, and not to worry about the things that are beyond our control.”

So how do we then find value in our lives? If it isn’t the things we have, or do so much, what is it then? Do we give all we have away to the poor and then we will be happy? Trying to be there for all of our friends, or family, along with work, leaves not much time for ourselves to re-charge the batteries. So how can we find some importance with this life and then being able to embrace it?

There was Jill, laying as comfortable as she could in her hospital bed. The rush of all of the doctors, and nurses going from place to place tending to other patients, didn’t give her to much of a chance for peaceful rest in her bed. Her thoughts ran wild at times with questions. Why? Why me? I’m still young and for me to end up here is just… She was interrupted with a nurse checking up on her. She said ” How are you felling?

” Just okay, considering.” Jill answered. the nurse continued to check the all of her vitals signs. Jill was going in for surgery on a brain tumor. Risky at best, but doctors are better at this sort of thing now compared to a few years ago. The nurse finished up and reminded Jill ” next time we see you we will be going in for surgery prep. Okay?” Jill nodded, not so reassured that all was going as planed or will be okay. She tried to close her eyes to rest by staying calm. Out of the self-created quiet she had made for herself, she heard a voice. opening her eyes, thinking here we go, she was surprised to see a little girl.

“Hi. My name is Beth, what is yours?” Beth had a small voice, with a low tone, her face had a white kind of color to it but pleasant to look at. She was standing there looking at Jill with a smile, holding onto a pole with a drip bag attached to it,and a cord that ran to her arm.

“oh! Hi, I’m Jill, nice to meet you but.” Jill was cut off by Beth.

“So what do you have?” Beth got closer to Jill.

“Well.” Jill stopped briefly to gather some thoughts. How much do I tell her? She is so little, will she understand? ” I have a brain tumor, and will shortly go for surgery.” she said in deciding to spill the beans.

“Oh! Sorry for that! I have cancer.” Beth said. But Jill didn’t hear all that she was still saying. Her thoughts ran crazily through her mind. How is it possible for this little girl to have cancer, she is so young and hasn’t had a chance. Thoughts were interrupted by Beth saying. ” So ya. They did everything they could. Now I’m just here so they can make me more comfortably. But I would rather be home.”

” So You are…” Jill didn’t wish to scare this little girl but how do I say it, she searched for the words.

” Yes, I’m going to die here.” Beth said, but she didn’t have a sad voice. Strange, that she had a relieved kind of disposition about her. “But you will get better.” She added.

Jill thought about this young life that was okay with the cards dealt to her. But why? If she had this kind of problem like this, why is she not more, like angry, upset, disappointed, scared? Yet she was nice to talk to. She seemed like more concerned with how I’m doing rather than how is was. A nurse came into the room and interrupted the two. ” Have to give you this shot to get you ready for surgery okay Jill” said the nurse. Beth was at the foot of the bed just looking on as the nurse did her job. The nurse finished up and said “this will take some time but will make you drowsy.”

Beth inched up closer to Jill when the nurse left the room. She lifted up a raged stuffed animal that had been attached to her pole. “Here! This will help you sleep, and make you convertible as well.” She handed it over to Jill. ” You can give her back after your better, or you can keep her if you like.” She said with a big smile on her face.

“Thanks so much.” Jill exclaimed sleepily, just trying to be kind. “I will give her back to you when I get out so she can make you comfortable again. okay?” The little girl placed her hand on Jill’s and just smiled back.

The nurses came back a few moments later and did final prep to roll the hospital bed and Jill out to surgery. Beth was over to far side of the room looking on. Jill though drowsy tried to look at her new-found friend as she was wheeled out of the room. Giving a small hand wave to her as she went.

When Jill came out of surgery, and was in the recovery room, she was still holding the ragged stuffed animal. Her thoughts went back to her little friend Beth. Wondering how she is? Hope I can see her soon to give her back the stuffed animal again. But .. what if.. no I’m not going there. She thought! A nurse entered the room to look after Jill and how she was doing. Jill tried to reach out to get the nurse’s attention. “Excuse me! Excuse me!” she said again, and again.

” Yes, can I get you some thing?”

” Ya. the little girl who gave me this stuffed animal. How is she? Or how can I give her back her stuffed animal? I would like to tell her it worked, and now she might need it more than I do..”

The nurse interrupted her. ” You need to be quieted down, and try to rest now.” Re-tucking blankets up.

“But she has cancer and may need this just to make her feel better!” Jill insisted.

” I don’t know what or who you’re talking about. There are no little girls or kids in this hospital. They would be in children’s, not here.” The nurse finished up with making her comfortable and then added. ” now try to rested up, you just got out of surgery. Okay?” Jill nodded. puzzled about it all. The nurse left the room and once again Jill found herself in an empty room by herself.

Like Jill we are often given a new lease on life, not by avoiding death by chance or luck, but realizing that we make mistakes and we have the ability to repair them. For Jill she realized that not always looking at ourself’s and the places we are in at life is the best for us. It makes us only have unrealistic outlooks, or expectations. Being happy is being comfortable with who we are, and knowing that we can always do better. So while we are trying to do better we should always share with other people who have less than we do. Just the act of kindness to someone who we may not even know goes a long ways for us. Much like the burnout’s of hollywood, when we only see ourself’s, in everything that we do, and we only do everything for our self’s. That is totally what will be limiting ourself’s with our actions, experiences, and things we have, draining us out, leaving us empty as people. Only looking for the next thing. But when we share with others, even what little that we have, or how much we have, would alow us to be filling ourself’s up unlimited, far beyond our brims.

We should recognize as well come to realize, that we all didn’t ask to be living, in this time, and place. But we all must choose to travel down life’s path way to its end. Some experiences are best to have been experienced by ourself’s, but they are few in number. Life was ment to be shared with people. Making it our goal to share ourself’s with others will make the experiences better and easer, besides you never know when you will be the recipient of get a helping hand from someone else in this way. When you’re only goal is looking at yourself, your missing out on the views in life, and the experiences that are beyond yourself. How then can you even begin to embrace the life you never planed on having?

“Would you like to be remembered by what you had in life, or what you were able to do with what you have in life?” Quote unknown.

Alow yourself to be venerable in life, is to be strong-willed in the living of life. Rarely do we get stronger if we don’t exercise ourself’s, by experiencing challenges in our life’s experiences, as well as overcoming them, is life’s exercise to strengthen the sole, and maximizing the living of ones life. Some of those challenges we will win, and some we will lose. Overcoming those challenges, along with the help of others, or by us helping others, or just our hard work, is what makes the winning sweeter! How will you embrace the life you never planed on having?

To give is better than to receive,and by far more in powering!

All the best!

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