The best time to say happy birthday on facebook, is later in the day after everyone else has. That way everyone else (hopefully hundreds of people) will see your return response. Now that may seem narcissistic to some extent. But isn’t that what has been driving the popularization of social media?
Why else would any social network posts, have so little real content in and around them? I mean people post every little detail of their lives,..” I’m feeling tired! Going to bed.”…”off shopping at the mall after I call in sick. Let’s meet up.”…”D car died, the kids are crying, and I need a drink.”…” My cheating husband ran off with his girlfriend. Needs money! Selling his 2010 BMW less than 30K on it—$100.00 or best offer! Not a joke, just revenge!”…”That’ll teach that lying sack of S***!” You’ve probably read something like that too, along the way?
Psychoanalysis says, having an undue fascination with oneself while
tending to derive erotic gratification from admiration of one’s own physical or mental attributes–is what it is to be vain. It should also include, posting every unimportant going’s on about ones life on social media for the point of popularizing oneself, is what is to have an out of control vanity.
Yet with every little detail of your life posted 24/7 on Facebook, twitter, Instagram, snapchat, text messages, and or E-mail, just to name a few. Somehow that doesn’t define today’s social networking as being totally selfexsorbed, or a society addicted to vanity?
A friend posted, or should I say “Facebook” posted on his behalf that it was his birthday today. He kept checking his smartphone, which occasionally vibrated against the table top with every new birthday wish from social media. Our conversation was interrupted so many times not only with the constant hums of his social notifications, but also with his hunt and peck style of return responses.
” For Pete’s sake man, let the socially distant nudgenik’s alone for awhile.” Letting him know just how alone and distant I was starting to feel even though I was sitting across from him.
“Nudgenik’s!” He glared back at me, as if to say–it’s my birthday how dare you. He then added, “Are you jealous? Or is it because I have friends other than you?”
I casually let out a slight giggle. “What? Ha! You’re comparing Electronic greetings now…..for personal friendships?” He nervously fidgeted in his chair a bit.
“I would rather have the real deal over electronic interactions or greetings.”
“It’s the new age man. You may not like it but you have to except it. It’s here to stay.” He said while glancing back to his phone barely making any eye contact with me. I just contributed that to somewhat being embarrassed over the direction of our conversation. Hehehe, I was giggling inside, what Conversation? If you can call it that?
“Have it your way then.” I excused myself to go to the bathroom. It was a lie. I walked straight out and to my car, got in, looking back towards the window seat we were sitting, And that’s when I noticed he didn’t even flinch, not a bit. There he was still looking at his phone, typing. Typing, texting, with an angelic look of a little girl. Such an unbecoming look conning from a large guy.
I watched for what seem far more time than it took for anyone to go to the bathroom, still he remained statuesque, and glued into position.
I thought to myself, a Happy birthday man!
Not 5 minutes later, and several miles of distance down the road, he called. I pushed the accelerator a bit harder wondering if I should answer the phone? Even if I would have answered–what could I have said to get the point across…..
Who hasn’t had a run in with Facebook’s stupid rules of the road to social networking? Just setting up your privacy settings are a job by its self. The rules change all the time with Facebook, and often do just to confuse. Facebook’s main job is getting you the home player to give into giving up some or all of your privacy if possible, while still remain confusing to a large number of people, new to Facebook or old hat users it is all the same.
When Facebook shares something about you that you thought was private, it’s your fault because you screwed up the privacy settings. But when Facebook shares something about the founder’s sister – well, it’s still your fault, because “it’s not about privacy settings, it’s about human decency”.
It is like you can also pay your credit card off every month. The company just doesn’t want you to. Without paying interest, you’re a free rider. But credit card companies, at least, don’t openly scold consumers for not paying cash, when their very existence is built on swiping plastic. That’s what Randi Zuckerberg did.
That double standard surfaced when Randi Zuckerberg, the sister of Mark Zuckerberg and a former Facebook executive, posted a candid family photo that proceeded to take on an internet life of its own. The picture popped up in the news feed of Callie Schweitzer of Vox Media. She tweeted it. It went viral.
Facebook makes money when users surrender their privacy. The company has made it the user’s job to defend personal information, which otherwise might be made public by default. Got a problem with that? The company’s answer always has been that users should read the privacy settings, closely, no matter how often they change.
The thing that bugged me about Randi Zuckerberg’s response is that she used her name as a bludgeoning device. Not everyone has that. She used her position to get it taken it down,” Eva Galperin of the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a privacy advocacy group in San Francisco told the Associated Press.
So the Zuckerberg’s hold you “Joe blow public” to a different standard then they who built the flawed system are willing to hold themselves. Only the stupid will make mistakes like refusing to read the privacy standards and then follow them to a “T” (of course if Facebook changes these standard of rules often), you’re still stupid for not reading and then updating your privacy settings.
Should you make a mistake, and the Facebook rules are designed to make them often. at which time all of the bitch-en in the world, or standing on your head or even an honest attempt at contacting a person at Facebook is for not? You’re battleing a machine not a human entity.
The thing that’s most insulting about Randi Zuckerberg’s response; her un-willingness to acknowledge her own stupidity for making a mistake. She chooses to attack all of the little people from her view-point of being one of the ultra-rich, as giving you “Joe Blow public” more responsibility then she herself has to her own family’s privacy.
Let’s face it Randi Zuckerberg you’re rich but that doesn’t entitle you to some special privileges unless you’re willing to buy them on the open market I guess. You put your pants on one leg at a time just like we all do, you eat, drink, and crap, and your crap stinks just like everyone else’s does. So when you get caught in the cogs of the machinery that your family built because you didn’t understand the terms of the privacy settings, and then took the time to activated them as you would have liked them to be. Why are we responsible to a standard of having any human dignity or decency greater than yours?
After all with computer machines, it is all about garbage in garbage out. So next time you should hesitate just a little before pressing that send button, just stop to think. Was I being prematurely stupid here? Remembering at the time of your distress, it is always the person in the room wearing the biggest smile on their face or (Facebook page) that has figured-out someone else to blame it on. Why should you and yours have all of the fun with everyone’s else’s privacy with no cost to your own? Let the user be ware.
http://gu.com/p/3cmd9/tw via @guardian
In the making of a champion at anything, one must see the goal. Choosing then to work really hard at it. Not to say most people see the guy or girl whose goal it is, and works obsessively at becoming a champion, but still finishes second or third. That couldn’t possibly be what a champion really is? Unfortunately the headlines and the news agency’s never seem to recognize the amazing stories behind the making of a champion, or the odds of becoming a true day-to-day reality’s champion.
Take Samyr Laine for instance. This guy is a triple jumper, olympic class athlete competing in the 2012 Olympics for the country of Haiti. Born to parents from Haiti, but born in America. The big-hearted man chooses to compleat for the Haiti national team. One of just a few athletes from this country. In addition to competing on a world-class level, he is trying to set up a foundation to help Haiti recover from the earthquake devastation of 3 years ago. Where there is an estimated 1 million people still homeless.
Being the former room-mate of Mark Zuckerberg, of Facebook fame. Along with having the opportunity’s of going to a world-class college like Harvard. This could draw some lines that separate most people form those whose goals are, in become champions at what they’re talents alow them to achieve in life. Yet never get the same opportunity’s, from those who are considered champions because they went to a world-class school. Like most things, championships and the champions that achieve this status, can be in many things in life. Not just sports, or sporting events. Look at Mark Zuckerberg, Isn’t he a champion? A kind of champion for what he was able to create with Facebook? Bill Gates is he a champion? You do know he dropped out of Harvard, yet is one of the richest people in the world? A money champion I suppose.
Competing in the Olympics could also be considered in the same way, being a champion just for having competed. Just a different kind of champion. When so few people ever get to this level of competition at anything in life. Between these two former room mates, could we then call them the same type of champion? Are there differences to any champions or championships? Between individuals who become champions or teams who in working in unison in becoming champions?
Samyr Laine may never have the bank account of a Mark Zuckerberg. But all ready has broken through more barriers on the road to becoming a champion. Competing in the 2012 olympics for a poor country. Makes Laine a man driven by a different drummer. Considering the odds of all of the people in Haiti that may have talents for sports. Yet never having the chance to display these talents on any level to the world-wide public. Could we then consider Laine a champion of sorts, never winning a medal? But then take the points of…. Laine could have just entered the business world and made huge money, forgetting about his ancestral home of Haiti.
Wow! Having never won a medal from the Olympics, being his second olympics he has compleated in. One could just say, he is in no way a champion. But then lets look at the facts, of what makes a champion. Could it be…. a champion is in the definition? What a champion is, or at least in the eye of the one who would then define it. Often this mind-set then leads us down a different road in search of own championships.
Laine was born in the USA, so he could have compleated for the US team in the Olympics, but made a choice to go for team Haiti. This choice could have cost him big money. Yet he compete with no less of a goal. He could have just went for the money, and switched competing for a different country in the Olympics. Like this person did, in this story. Traitor or American Genius? http://mynorthwest.com/194/719406/Traitor-or-American-Genius via @mynorthwest .
When you consider there is about 6 billion people in the world Laine is defiantly a champion of huge portions. When you narrow the definition. He is one of a few million people from Haiti, with the talent to compete at the triple jump sport. When you then consider Laine doesn’t define himself by a gold, or silver, or a bronze medal. But is trying to use the olympics and his talents at his sport to help a country, where he has never had to struggle within day-to-day life. Does this make him a champion?
Is becoming a champion an open door, an opportunity for everyone to go through. Defining ones self by what we choose to do, with what we have or what talents we display? Or weather we are placed on a pedestal by others and the notoriety we achieve of what we have done?
Greatness of a champion is often resulting from two different people rubbing their shoulders together at a time when it is barely noticed. As a whole, we all have become who we are by the casual contact with other in life. Through interactions we have had with each other. A rubbing together of personalities, talents, within personal goals of some kind of self-interests. That often leads us to true championships and success within our own minds eye. A successful life lived, isn’t determined by what we have. But what we will be remembered for, in the hearts and minds of those who we have had a chance to impact quietly.
All the best.
Mark Zuckerberg’s former Harvard roommate Samyr Laine competes for Haiti in triple-jump at Olympics … http://bit.ly/OP1rdu via @MailOnline
Pictures provided by free picture web pages. the news blog we have placed a link to in this post also has provided a picture or two for this blog.
Ruining conversation starts like…. On a typical morning with a typical young person just waking up to start their day they reach for their life line, the cell phone. Firing off a few text messages, checking Facebook status, making new up dates, all before getting ready for school. Rolling out of bed, taking a quick shower must have woken up the brain cells. A quick text to mom with their request as what they wish to have for breakfast, and lunch, then picking out some clothes. Before getting to brushing their hair, and teeth. The answer comes back from mom.
” If you wish to talk to me I’m downstairs!” Mom yelled out in response to the text messages.
This is the new conversation in life, as well as the only interaction being played out in most teenagers households today. If it isn’t texts, or 140 characters in a tweet, or a Facebook profile up-date, it’s not a conversation. Teens just have different out looks for what is or is not a conversation. Parents or at least the older generation look at this new way of conversations, as very limited interactions. One line answers, one to two sentences at best in response to a question, happens to also be par for course today.
When parents ask a question. The likely answer will be. ” Didn’t you look at my Facebook page? Or Didn’t you get my text, or tweet? ” Parents who don’t make the effort in checking with these new media forms are therefore left-behind, unrecognized, or made to feel as unimportant old geezers.
Even college students communicate differently then the previous generations and their counter parts, or the next generation that follows them. Collage students recall, they will e-mail professors over the use of a phone call, they reserve their phone calls and some texts for mom and dad’s. Only if mom and dad’s have the necessary skills to text back. If not, then the occasional phone call will do. With employers they still make the call reluctantly, but hold the conversation as brief as possible, or avoided all together if possible. Choosing to e-mail as the official form of communication if the employer also has the capabilities. But with their peers they text. In some cases up to 6000 text a month, or more according to their cell phone plans. Even group texting, happens to be the new conversation of talking to everyone not in the same room. That is where you send out a text to multiple acquaintances all at once. Like.. “We are going to the mall.” Everyone on their list then can go to the mall if they aren’t there already to meet.
It is no wonder that the older you are, the more likely you will pick up on these new facts of modern conversation, and how it has changed. But has it? When the tell-a-phone was first invented the older generation probably said the same thing. Truth is that over the years the conversation did in fact change. Just now days the change is more noticeable do to the speed of the change takeing place.
For the youth of the day one liners as their answers isn’t all that out-of-place. multiple conversations on-line with twitter and Facebook, has more of an appeal as interactions with their friends. Often saying. ” It is just multi tasking with conversations! ” Yet they don’t even recognize that they have practically removed themself’s from society itself.
They are missing out on the facial expressions, body language, even the sound of laughter. All of these kinds of additions to conversation bring emphasis to the words spoken, yet they are fast being replaced with typing “LOL” or some such. Body language is becoming a lost art form, as well as having the ability in understanding it. Impossible to send and receive the messages sent by body language through social media of today, through texts, e-mails, even in some types of phone calls. Body language has then become just as impressive as a blank page. Yes with phone calls you can still hear the other person laugh. But their body language is left out of the picture. So a phone call, was the change though slightly, over the personal conversations of the past before the creation of the phone.
Don’t you think conversation should then be also filled with expressions, more than the some of our words used?
Social awkwardness has led to some types of social mistrust, anxiety, phobias, even stress through the lack of self-confidence within the interactions of people. It seems the younger people tend to have alow themself’s with their conversations at least, to hide out in plain sight so to speak. In other words, not being themself’s in every situation, even avoiding some interactions.
Even college professors have started to have students introduce themself’s in class. In trying to open the doors of conversation and being comfortable in talking with each other. Some students have expressed that they didn’t like it at first. But admit that they spend little time in conversations with each other in person. Texting has taken over their lives. Not surprising then to see a group of college students sitting around a semi-circle texting to who knows who, rather than talking with each other.
The ideas of expanding the use of on-line-classes, will therefore only magnify the social awkwardness. People are social creatures by nature. Social media has allowed an evolution to take place of unnatural interactions, there for people have a tendency for creating in thought unrealistic expectations.
The generational divide has then become the grand cannon between young and older people’s conversations. If you ever had the phone conversation like this…
Parent: ” So what are you doing?”
Young person: ” Nothing.”
Parent: ” So what is new? Or why did you call me, and for… I mean you’re not saying much and you called me, so lets talk.”
Young person: ” Just wanted to talk for a while.”
Yet still remaining quiet for the most part… Too much like a phone call where you have been put on hold. The phone to your ear, but nothing but silence to lessen to.
Of course once the phone call ends, if the parent can also master the art of texting and is willing to do so. These younger persons can then also pick up the phone and text for an hour or better. Yet talking in person over the phone is like pulling dragons teeth! This is also the same with personal conversations when these people come together. In one word conversation is, “limited”.
I suppose the old adage of. ” If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” apples to modern conversations. Of corse most people have things they wish to say to others. It is therefore all in the delivery of it.
Using social media today, younger people look at it as refining their conversations and multi tasking all at the same time. Getting to the point and then moving on as fast as they can, often at the blazing speed of the internet, and their abilities to type faster than their parents. Talking in person some how must seem to them as ultra slow, even a kind of slurring of words in comparison to texting, or e-mailing.
To the older generation yet young at heart, this kind of conversation is a source of frustration, and more of a separation. In stead of closing the generational divide, the cannon is filled with a lot of awkward moments. Closing the divide, only requires a conversation using 140 characters or less or so it seems. Body language however, will become, antiques, romantic gestures of the past, misunderstood, and under used, filling young minds with wonder.
When they’re faced with taking a mandatory college class in the future ” The art of conversation, using body language 101.” I hope they will finely see the light, that a life of being a hermit of sorts isn’t as fun or as exciting. In fact, expressions that people give is far more interesting at times then the words spoken.
I for one intend to use the new house rule of…. No texting under the same roof / or in the same room. If you have a request I’ll need to have at least a 500 word conversation or the answer will be ” Bla, Bla, Bla!” Using all of my 140 characters as the answer you seek but only hear. Unless you wish to have some degree of embarrassment? At that point I will be glad to post to all, and every kind of social media, for all to see, as the newest video pod cast of you throwing your tantrums. Of course your responses to me, will be held to the strictest of rules! Only being excepted if they are under 140 characters in length, using the sounds of your voice. Love your new house rules.
Ps. A hand on my hip, and the scowl on my face. Is body language! Definition of it is… ” Don’t test me! ”
Is social media then ruining conversation?
All the best
Facebook was always a medium that was much liked by taggers who liked to write on walls. Facebook accommodates giving a free chance to write wall to wall messages on electronic walls that people have set up. Nice to write on walls that don’t belong to you and you don’t have to clean up after wards. Who really cares what you write. Use some discretion tho. You don’t want to write something threatening to someone. Could bring you some troubles over that kind of writing. No need to write something that isn’t true, about someone, or slandering them. More trouble I’m sure, then it is worth. But write something witty and great? Or writing something funny and they may repost it. But what is the purposes for this wall to wall writing anyway? Can’t you decorate your own walls? You have to invite the neighbors kids over to your walls and give them crayons to write with? And all for what? popularity? For more followers, in turn which leads to more taggers for your wall?
“It’s just a figure of speech.” They say. Making a reference to writing on walls. “Facebook is more like a way to staying close with people who are far away.” Okay! What happened to the phone? The new thing, like a cell phone has taken over. Take it anywhere, make calls to anyone. Use it to get on the net, check your Facebook account. What? Staying close with people who you could talk too, and hear another voice by calling them up? But Facebook users would rather write on walls. Much like the real taggers who write on walls of buildings, then run like hell to get away. Only to return to the scene of the crime to brag to friends. At times when their friends see their tags it is a status thing because, they know who does what signs. It’s their way of bragging or saying “I got there first!” So it is a popularity thing as I said before, or implied.
When Facebook wall to wall writing goes a muck. Everyone knows the writer as well how to get to their walls, to be able to return the favor. So wall to wall isn’t such a bad thing. Tagging walls for real is much worse. The taggers are a hit and run mad artist at best. You paint over the tag and they return just to do it over again. And again! By the time you get to do this 2 or 3 times you are starting to warm to the ideas of becoming a tagger from hell yourself, if you only knew where they lived.
Some would like to have their tags called “a form of art.” But the people or businesses that have their buildings tagged or their trucks tagged, may say other wise. I always thought that art was made, and then the artist would try to sell it, gaining some self-support for being an artist. But with art by tagging? A few cans of spray paint and off you go to the next bare wall you can find. With tagging art, if one can call it that. It seem to devalue part of towns where it is overly present. Unlike true art forms, which adds value to a part of society, in the forms of art museums and such. Giving people a chance to go and see as a part of their entertainment.
I say the more people engaged on Facebook in the wall to wall tagging, or writing to each other the less of a chance they will use spray paint tagging blank or fresh painted walls of my town. But with the taggers of Facebook that can’t seem to understand that you can take some time with Facebook tagging. No fear! No need to hurry, no fear in getting caught, or having to run like hell away from the scene of the crime. Please make double shure you are typing the right address, so you will be writing on the right wall, no matter what your writing. The wrong address may lead to someone else getting the whole Facebook community responding to it. What ever it is or if it is true or not! Thinking that you are getting back at some one with the same name but wrong address. Leaves your friends on your list, open to joining in with their reposting to your misguided posts. Which opens the door for the rest of the world of Facebook in responding to someone who has only your orignal wrong address or name in common. So keep on hating if you must! But hate the ones that you hate with some accuracy. Don’t hate the ones you have never met, or hated before, or loved before. Please consider that the last name “Smith” Is really popular. So the one person that you may hate by the name of “Doug Smith, Kate Smith, Mike Smith, Garry Smith, Sam Smith or any other Jane Doe / John Doe, Smith that you can think of may in fact be, the wrong Smith you’re getting back at. Think of all of the Smiths in the world who may then decide to get back at you, using electric tagging of your wall on Facebook! Might drive you too tagging real walls with spray paint again? In which case if your caught, I hope your punishment will be cleaning up all the walls of my town, from all that tagging! Using only a toothbrush and elbow grease!
All the best!