This tag is associated with 6 posts

Auto-rewind days

Do we always have to pick between winning or losing? Are there situations that reward people in the same way regardless of which we pick?

When it comes to Sunday mornings I can’t decide. When Sunday’s start like this…when all of the family crawled into bed the night before together… Don’t laugh. You have been there occasionally, at least a time or two? If not, after reading this post, imagine it for awhile by closing your eyes.

It happened like this one Sunday morning. It was after all of the family had crawled into bed. The dog, three cats, Mom and Dad, not to add to our sleep, but to stay warm. Summer was giving way to a cooler fall. The alarm had been playing 80’s tunes for some time now and the sun playfully peeked in on the family through the cracked drapes in the window.

The dog and cats had tried their best to awaken someone, anyone to serve to them breakfast. But it was only a half hearted try and again quickly fell asleep in their warm surroundings.

At last there was movement, a quick bathroom break and then the usual feeding mission, followed by starting the coffee maker, and than a quiet tip toeing walk back to bed. The beds warmth was unmatched to the cool morning air throughout the house. Besides without coffee in my hands, sipping and smelling the aroma, who can really say they were truly awake yet?

What seemed like just a moment of time slowly slipping through my fingers; while listening to sounds of off-tempo coughing by the electric coffee maker. Trying its best in keep-up with it brewing by coughing and spitting the last of its brew in time with the beats of some 80’s tunes playing on the alarm clock. After all this was the sounds of my audio pacemaker starting my heart pumping and the taste buds weakening, while the rest of me was still suffering the effects caffein withdrawals unprepared to leave it warm hide-away.

Finely I could wait no more! I need caffein! Throwing the covers aside my mind sang the only morning tune it knew by autopilot, “it sure is nice waking-up to Folgers in my cup “. It could just as easily be explained as being my autopilot morning sleepwalking routine. From the view of those on outside looking in, it could just as easily have been like observing the march of the ants. Dad followed close behind by Mom, then the dog, then 1, 2, 3 cats….followed by sounds of clanking coffee cups, and then the stirring of spoons mixing sugar and cream into a light brown mixture. Then a bit of brief silence followed by sounds of slurping hot brew.

Indeed Sunday morning had arrived for all of us now sitting in the front room, sipping coffee and enjoying gentile morning kisses from the sun, while still Dreaming of our warm place.

Having finished our coffee, all following again in a single file line back to bed. After all Sundays are auto rewind days, morning doesn’t end till noon and we needed to prepare for the next alarm after it’s preset short snooze.

Rocky raccoon friend of foe?

We hear stories about bear attacks and we as people think that’s a natural occurrences. After all we the humans are moving into their ( the wild animals )territory’s more and more. Encroaching on their ability’s to find food and shelter. Animas are critters of the wild who will take the path of least resistance every time. Throw into the mix that when they have young to protect, all bets are off for any wondering human who may have crossed their paths.

Bear’s are big animals so they have a certain fear factor to them for us humans. But the small animals out there? They are so cute and cuddly right? The raccoons, cats, snakes, bees, all of these have less of a fear factor to them. An angry bear who can run fast, going from zero to thirty miles per hour in nothing flat. Doesn’t give anyone time to out run them. To the bear your nothing but a human snack. It is the smaller animals that give the least terrifying in counters to us. Maybe it is the thought of we can out manuever or run, or out wit these little ones if need be.

People who see raccoons in the wilds, just outside of our homes in our neighborhoods don’t even give them a second thought to these wild animals. Who can if provoked be dangerous. Again put into the picture little ones. This lovable fur ball of cuteness is a flesh shredding, biting, scratching villan of fear. That why parents tell kids. ” Don’t feed the wild animals.”

Prehaps it is the cartoon rocky raccoon that kids see when they in counter a wild raccoon. Or maybe they see it as nothing more than the over grown cat the family already has. I mean they are furry, and with masks on their faces….? That’s the dead give away. People or animals with masks on their faces can’t be trusted. The hell with the lone ranger, he had a mask on. Kids loved this guy. Stood for right and was willing to stand up against wrong. But why? Was it the mask? Didn’t he want wrong to see him as he was, just a bad-ass crime fighter? What was he hiding from?

Jim Carry in the movie ” Mask” wore a mask. Somewhat different though. But the part he was to play in this movie was fun and light on his feet. Nothing to fear? Seeing these kind of images of mask warring people and animals alike gives us a chance to have a warped sence of security. Seeing cute and cuddly raccoons in the wild out doors just outside of our homes doorways. Doesn’t send out the spine chilling warning messages to the nerve centers of out own version of home land security. Our brains! These animals are somewhat smaller…. Warning! They have that cute little mask… Warring! They are no bigger then max out cat… Warning! What the hell all of the other animals are dead, or running for their lives, this should have given even the most dense person their last…. Warning!

Some overly animal friendly people think to limit people from building out into the wilds. So to give these animals spaces to run around in. But these animals also don’t recognize borders and boundary lines. They come to the humans side of life to check it out. Animals are opportunists. They will take the pathways of least resistances. Sounds like humans too! But that a different story. If they can find food at your back door. left out for the cat….. Well why not! Looks good. Tastes like chicken, or the neighbors chickens, cats, dogs….. What does a small one of those taste like. As the raccoon stairs you and your kids down. Who knows what they are thinking? Their wild! They should stay right where you’re not?

Soft and cuddly wild animals may see cute and fun to play with. But unlike some also cute, soft stuffed animal. These are more like the creatures from the bazar world of Steven king’s newest horror. Where the friendly stuffed animals will ultimately shred you to pieces.

They are wild and there needs to be some healthy respect for animals with young, or who can be.. or even might have rabbis. Once an animal attacks a human, we need to protect our own kind. As for the pack of wild raccoons attacking some well-meaning women. We need to have 5 or so new coon skin caps enter the market place.

Raccoon Attack Sends Woman to Hospital http://abcn.ws/Nrzviz (via @ABC)

all the best.

Pictures provided by free picture web pages.

Miles stones, and slaying neighborhood dragons.

When it comes to miles stones. Nothing compares to the evil one can encounter, when dealing with recluses as your neighbors. Mile stones aren’t suppose to be small in nature. But more like average in-between size, or even slightly larger in sized to qualify for being a mile stone. Put a string of mile stones together, leads to a smaller size accomplishment. Putting a string of recluses into a neighborhood and you have a made-up world. A new set of medieval fantasy’s of the unknown. Only to be discovered through small pieces of reality, also known as the confrontations.

July 4 is this nations birth day celebrations. Fireworks seem to be the main event to the day of back yard BBQ’s, family’s coming together, fun food, sun, and summer outdoor activity’s. The good times we all remember from our own experiences of the 4th of July of years past.

What other celebrations alow parents, to send the kids out of the house with tiny explosives, books of matches, lighting punks, or the spar lighter. A sure-fire recipe of disaster, in a total lapse of disciplinary resolve in parenting. Isn’t one of the jobs of parenting, to worry about every possibility of mischief a kid could think of and then defuse the bomb before hand, so to speak? In our society these days we do have a lack of parenting, but true to form we have a total lack of adult leadership. Which then came first?

We never tell our kids to go outside and blow something up. Yet kids with tiny explosives, with the same expected outcomes, leads to getting board easily. Light the fuse and watching it burn down and then BANG! Or the string of BANG! BANG! BANG! Like most kids, always pushing the envelope of their limits. Not thinking of the outcomes to the plan, they hatch the idea of what can we do to make a bigger explosion? Without parental supervision and limitations. The unlimited quest for a bigger explosion, will only be slowed down with the inevitable even bigger unknown disastrous outcome.

Tired of hearing about the kids that blew-off fingers, hands, cats, dogs, bushes, houses, or cars, or God knows something new to the world. With home-made explosives disguised as fireworks. we escaped the mayhem for a quieter time in Canada. Living in close proximity of the great white north. We packed our over night bags and cashed in our two tickets for paradise.

A good time in the great white north of Canada indeed. As all trips, the time off was too short. Yet the time away was a needed rest and relaxation of the mind and body all at the same time. Doing some hiking and walking, cliff exploration, rain forest exploration, and some closer examinations of the urban life of the wild Canuck in their natural habitat as well. An extremely packed few days we called getting some R-R.

When we got home. Somewhat tired, yet excited to examine the aftermath of all of the American celebrations of the 4th of July. We unpacked the car and then slowly let the normal vision return to our eyes of our stuff, and lives. As we remembered it from just a few days earlier. It struck us like a slap in the face. Part of our landscaping was burned! Not just a little. But almost forest fire like consumed. A black patch among what seemed like what used to be green.

Examining the charcoal of what was our yard. We tried to look to the bright side of life. Just a false attempt at self-control within a tired mind. The first attempt at expressing ourself’s to the unexpected. Was filled with words of less repeatable language. But a great warning shot to all within ear shot. ( Note to self; people talking outside at night sure does carry a long ways without have to yell.) In a flash a neighbor appeared and told us the story…

“These kids were shooting up fireworks and a roman candle landed in the bushes and before we knew it. Flames were shooting 12 feet into the air! People were running to get your hose and others where going for buckets spraying, and pouring water onto it, in order to save what we could. The fire department showed up after someone placed a 911 call. They finished it off with a round of water as well. You should have seen it! “

She then vanished after finishing her stories of the great fire. Leaving us with the same kind of questions as to who it was? Really? Why did she leave before we could fire off any questions ourself’s? Perhaps it was her kids… maybe?

My neighbors are all for the most part recluses. Staying to them self’s for the most. More than I would like to see. They rarely say anything in passing. But more of a wave, or was that a middle finger wave? It happens all to fast. If we don’t see a neighbor in some time I question it at least, as to why? What should we do? Who knows? We all have the same time, the same size of yards and houses, yet seem all to busy to be bothered with any neighborly duties. Only if the neighbors were doing something wrong, exciting, illegal, or fun. That’s when one can notice the curtains moving as the neighbors attempt to observe without being noticed. This is the only time we see an interest in anyone or with someone other than themself’s.

So when kids break a window playing baseball, they tend to run. The parents tend to hide behind a self-imposed prison, just on the other side of the window dressings mirage. I can’t even remember the last time when I got a note on the door, or window of the car. Telling me sorry for the door dings they added to my collection on my car door. Then offering to help pay for the damage. The last window broken at the house was a miserable time wrapped up in a mystery. Even to the kid who I suspected as having done it.

Prehaps it is human nature? But hell hath no end of hot spitting lava, when these recluses have the untimely same encounters of life’s mishaps. I remember the neighbor who didn’t like that our dog had to go poo on their lawn. We’re responsible dog owners, picking up the miles and miles of brown piles of poo. Yet this neighbor made it a point to come to our door, ring the door bell, and then braid me as why this was unacceptable. Saying ” This will never happen again!!” My response was quick and maybe less thought through then I would have liked. But under some pressure, of the confrontation. I remarked. ” Do you get mad at God and those wild animals that certainly poo in your yard. Is there a complaint department where God lessens, then passes judgments with some new mandates? Does he work on people problems too?” The neighbors response was the middle finger and the animal control showed up within an hour.

Using honey instead of vinegar catches more fly’s. So I have learned.. I think? I can go through life waiting for some answers to these kind of problems. Or decide to lead others to help make an improvement. It takes some leadership, in showing the way to people, so they are able to see the way, net alone move along its pathway to real vill. Recluses have an unreal view of the world and the other people in it, net alone how to interact with them all. Leadership presented by a leader, will always try to show some great positive place we all can live within. Like reality’s walls of real vill.

I could choose to remember all of the unfortunate events in the neighborhood that have impacted my property or life. Or I could choose to use honey, to impact a change, at least on this street anyway. So I invite everyone on the street to have a good old faction block party. Move the BBQ’s to the street instead of the under used back yards. Rain or shine. No excuses.

In this way people have a chance to get to know their neighbors without guessing at all of the what if’s. They have a small chance also getting to know one another, while allowing others to get to know them in a small way. Which in turn may influence them to look out for one another as well. From the old women whose grass just keeps growing taller. Yet the thoughts never cross their minds is she all right? To the younger people who had their first child. Do they feel the neighborhood is safe? That people will look out for kids as well as the rest of the hood? Is it good for raising up a child in? To the other people who had nothing better to do other than complain about pooping dogs. Prehaps these people can see that the world isn’t ending just yet with an avalanche of poo! And maybe they will also see the need to use honey for their first impressions? For the people who burned the landscaping. Prehaps they will also see that the most important thing in life is that people are living it to the best that they can. Admitting to the accident and then offering to make some amends for the damage. Would give a renewed hope for people and their personal interactions or exchanges that they have with each other. In short… it takes leadership to enact a change and then inspire others to also make some changes. improving the quality of living for everyone in the posses. Slaying a few dragons, and rebuilding real vill. Is that too much to strive for?

By planing the block party and then presenting the over whelming positive impact it would have. Along with the temptations of some free food. Presto, a new view of life! Showing people that people are irreplaceable, and stuff is after all is only stuff. No matter if it is landscaping, houses and cars or grass with domestic poo or wild poo on it…. you know… stuff! The time for medieval dragons is in the imaginary mind-set. Recluses who never extend their horizons beyond the window dressing they hide behind.  Fear the real world, and the real people in it. But for those who venture out of the self-imposed prison of hiding behind window dressing. A mile stone will be placed along their journeys through life. As a sign to others, what is of the up most importance. Mile stones are a sign of another neighborhood dragon that rest in peace ( RIP ) here.

All the best.

PS.  To the neighbor who came over and offered to pay for my landscaping…. Thanks for that. But really… help me replant when I get new plants. But mostly help with the cost of the block party and lets slay some dragons. Plants I can always re-buy. People we can’t!

Trixs for kids, gold for humans, dogs all for the hell of it!

We got up today, greeting the sunshine and the new day all at the same time. Just Trixy and me. Assessing the chores for the day we decided to go with pulling weeds. They need to go! Being that it also was sunny, making it a good day for their eviction from the flower bed, so today was it. We decided to hit them where it hurts, because it has been dry for days now, along with the sun burning hottest at noon. It is hell on wheels for you weeds. These were my thoughts, and Trixy was in full agreement. Trixy was looking outside along with myself, as I was also holding her in my arms up to the window, looking at the front flower bed. Being held is truly a benefit of a small dog who just otherwise couldn’t see out the window.

Putting her down on the floor again, while looking for my mud-n shoes. She instinctively knew we are about to have some doggie fun. Sitting at the door she already had her mud-n shoes on, and was more than willing and ready to go.

Just as soon as the door is open she was off like a rocket. Barking… but what was she barking at? Nothing was out there for her to bark at. No neighbors, no mail-men, no delivery drivers, no kids, no bike riders / skate boards…. As she realized slowly,there was nothing to bark at. She just got buzzy with the job of evicting weeds. I would pull them and she would pick them up again and shake then vigorously. Dirt would fly in all directions, as soon as she thought this weed is killed, she would grab the next one. At times she would sit down and just rip the weeds into pieces, until they were un-recognizably so.

If I was pulling them to slowly she would stare at me as if to say ” Come on! The big one over there. Ya! Pull it! Come on, you can do it! Pull with all for your strength man, put your back into it!” exciting the dog with great anticipation of fun at the expense of the biggest weed.

But then the shovel would hit a rock hiding just under the surface of the dirt. Like an alarm going off inside of the dog, she would spring into action. Jumping into the flower bed and dig, dig, and dig some more. Of course telling her to get out-of-the-way of my next shovel strike, did nothing. She would look at me as if to say… ” I’m a dog…. can’t make out…. just what…. you’re trying to saying. I have been your pet for how long? You still can not bark out something I can understand?” Finley! The rock would be brought to the surface, like fishing. You never knowing just how big the fish is till you can see it, so it is for the rocks as well. If it is a big one Trixy would be in dirt heaven. Licking her chops and then the rock, just till the dirt was gone or till the sound of shovel striking another one was heard.

For Trixy rocks were of great value, and by her thinking she was going to find the most valuable ones and clean them off for me to check them out. Like a person gold panning, looking into the pan after washing the gravel out and searching for the flash-in-the-pan. The gold among the black sand, as the pay-day for all of the days hard labour. she would be by my side looking at every shovel full of dirt, looking for gold or so it seemed. For a dog though, recognizing the difference between a rock and just another rock, VS. a really big gold nugget was the challenge. Everything seemed all so valuable, all the same from one rock to the next nugget / rock. She had dog gold fever.

For most of the day we were digging in the dirt and having fun while doing it. She was right by my side the whole time. No slacking here. After planting some new plants and moving some old ones it came time to admire our work and clean up a bit. This ment we were going to use the garden hose of course. This was the most excellent of choices for raping up a days work. For Trixy she loved the hose and getting wet from it. But for this fun-loving dog she also hated the rain. To her rain and getting wet was some kind of hell not to be endured. But getting wet from the hose, was great fun. Getting wet from the hose while it was raining would be tolerated, after all… was it raining or was it just the hose?

Getting cleaned-up by hose and chasing the water-spout untill it hit the ground was the bombé. She would run and bark grab a few bites at the water and chase it untill she was full of water. Then she would sit by the hose bib waiting for it to just move a little. indicating it would be game on once again.

Cleaned up, and hosed off, even our mud-n shoes, it was now time to retired for the day. A job well done.

The value wasn’t in looking for gold, but rather in time spent with…..

All the best.

Who goes there ?

In the life and the times of a dog, everything can be exciting, and often is made more exciting. Truth, dogs just have an over active imagination. But then when spending lots of time at home, with only cats to bother, and no such thing as doge dog-nip. The dogs mind tends to go stray. Just an animals wild ride of imagination.

Who goes there?

What was that … looking around with only the ball sitting there quietly mocking your doge senses. But starring the ball down, not really knowing whether to attack it, or grrrrr growl at it, or just trying your best at the worlds greatest David Copperfield doggie magic trick … mind control, mind over matter and just making the ball move through thoughts. When it just doesn’t work out as planed the extra mental workout leads to a quick nap.

The super sleuth of cats, that tends to over indulge in cat-nip thus the drunken attitudes it expresses to everyone. People and dog, and other cats when present, and the occasional kitty impersonator, that always seems to look like there is two sleuths under this one roof. With a meow, she tends to say where is my cat-nip. Much like a drunk that sometimes can’t cope with the world, so is driven to drinking. Kitty just soothes herself with her own addictions. Reasoning that it makes this world more exciting. See that ball over there? Ya It’s not moving now! But with a swipe of my paw, game on! That ball will wake-up the dog, who in turn will chace the ball and I the sleuth after all will attack the dog / ball or anything else. It doesn’t matter which one. Extra cat-nip = extra food eaten = having to play extra hard, keep me from turning into Garfield. That’s my story and I sticking to it. Besides I watched baseball with my owner and took a try at a swipe or two at those balls in the TV window. But nothing!  This one… is the ticket.

Kitty was sneaking between the wall and the dog on her way towards the ball. Quiet! Now easy does it, just a few more steps now. The dogs eyes seem to be opening up ever so slightly unknown to the super sleuth. Playing dead or sleeping real hard was the dogs trademark of surprise. Kitty was in range, one small pounce and… Dog springs to life! Jumping to her short feet, with just a motion of feet trying to run on hardwood floors, leaves feet moving at a blur, then catching traction and launching dog forward. Kitty out jumping dog with her heart stuck in her mouth, springs up and flies through the air towards the couch, catching herself on the edge and climbing the rest of the way up in escaping. One of the other cats that is more sacred of himself, appears around the corner to see what is going on. A Ball! One that is seemingly unattended to. One swipe and the ball was rolling down the hall, with scared-d-cat at a full on chase. With concentration fully broken dog is out for a relentless attack of cats, all and any cats will do!

With her ball finally safely in her mouth, dog slowly walks down the hall towards the livingroom. Half way down the hallway there is that one door, the port-hole that “Vac-Koom!” tends to pounce out from. With this doorway one must always be carefull around. Dog just moves slowly inching up to the door, but then with a rush she passed the door un-scathed, with ball still in mouth. Walking over to her bed she stashes her ball and then settles in for another nap.

With the sound of the keys going in the door lock, dog spring to life. Who goes there? Around the corner and down the 6 stairs rushing the front door. My owner is home! Wooa! We will play! Wait!! Is it the post man / ups man? The door opens up and with great momentary expectation, followed by relief. It is my owner! It’s a party then… where is my ball? The search is on, so dog runs off.

Finding the ball she runs out to the sliding glass door, just as soon as the door has enough of a space to squeezes through. She is off! Having left the ball on the deck, now down the long set of stairs, barking, and barking trying to get her owner to throw the ball.

After about a half hour of play, it is time for dinner. Back inside and she dives into her dog dish of food and devours it. But then a strange noise interrupts the last few bites of dinner. Then a squeak and creek and….It’s “VAC-KOOM! ” Battle stations! Quick! Get the led out, battle stations, Vac-Koom attacks!

Dog is just running around the house trying to hide her ball first. But then she lays in wait for her counter attack.

Vac-Koom has small bodied for its main body, but then it has the trunk for a mid body that rises up to the hight of my owners wast. With a small hook at its end. This is the spot where my owner tries to hang onto it, trying to control the seemingly uncontrollable Vac-koom. A blackish gray eye shield and a piercing laser white light for an eye. A low grrrrr type of noise escapes Vac-Koom as my owner places the black end of it tail into the wall plug. suddenly it rumbles towards the livingroom. Once Vac-Koom comes close enough dog pounces out of hiding. Nipping and growling, a bark or two and jumping back and forth. But being carefull to staying clear of the laser eye. Dirt trembles as Vac-koom comes near, vibrating from fear. Then with a sucking noise even a strange spider in an instance vanishes. Gone! But where did they go? Dogs eye widen as it comes too close, bark, bark! Grrrr!

Finely my owner unleashes the black tail from the wall, it snaps back into Vac-Koom’s upper body. With some strange wining noise. This strange beast is wrestled back into the time warp port-hole. The door closed, peace and silence once again is in the doggie kingdom, Vac-Koom vanquish!

With a click of a button on the black box type thing, my owner looks at this electric window where some strange game is being played outside of that window. Lifting dog up onto the couch, with petting and scratching of the belly, dog is in heaven. Once again the eyes start to close enjoying the close of the day with the owner of the house. But wait! What was…. that stupid stoned kitty. She is sneaking up to the window with her cat-nip interest in playing with the ball in view. Oh well, Just a great day in the life. Dog starts to drift off into dream land, with her fading last thoughts. ” Untill next time Vac-koom. Untill we meet again.” Aw, with a big deep breath, and owner softly rubbing the belly. Life is truly good.

All the best.

If dogs could talk!

                                             ( Do you hear what I’m saying?)

interesting concept I know. Dogs can’t talk, or can they? Not in the way you or I would talk to each other. But the barking they do, at or with other dogs, or fire trucks when they go by, or when a stranger that comes to the door to sell you on the latest religion’s flavor of the week. Isn’t it just for fun? Isn’t barking just dogs ways of expressing words, in the only way they can speak? Maybe not words like we would have chosen to say to each other in conversation, but those barks have some meanings to some dog out there. Have you seen dogs just bark, and bark, and then wonder, just what is with these humans? Why can’t they understand? Why do I waste my time barking at all? Seem like they just get upset, which leads them to threatening me, and tell me ( The dog) to be quiet. The next time a thief comes over to boost your car, I will be an award-winning pointer dog, and point in the direction of the spar keys. You know! The fake rock, right there in the garden, along with all of the other non rock like things. You know the only rock in the middle of a big barked off area. At least put some other rocks in the same place so it looks like you tried. You don’t have to have a rock garden. All to confuse you when your drunk. Who knows what goes through a dogs mind. They just look at you, and you at them, both of you just as confused about the other with this communication barrier.

( Listen up only telling you once!)

Being human how are we to know just what a dog is saying or trying to tell us? On the other hand, we all know someone who has a dog that barks at everything! So yes they can look confused, or easily tricked by the door bell, or a person knocking on some door in a move on TV, phones ringing, kids playing a bit to loud out on the street, sudden movements in general. All in all, the list goes on and on if we let it. We just keep on thinking stupid dogs! But are they really stupid? They may be one of the ultimate animals that have trained us instead of the us training the them?

Who doesn’t like the family dog greeting us when we get home? Mans best friend or what? They are just happy! Wiggling, wagging, maybe some barking, tongue licking / a slobbering welcome home party in a dog. Just try to get this kind of attention from your kids, or spouse. Okay skip that last one. So that is the views of the human owner, when at first we open the door. The dogs point of view maybe somewhat different indeed.

For the bigger dog who has been outside all day long, maybe just thinking; It’s about time! I freezing my butt off out here. Would it hurt to leave some extra food in my bowl to last all day? A ball to play with? Are you kidding me? Just where is the smaller version of you to throw it? Did I mention the word ball? Throw me a bone! Will you?To chew on that is. I like bones, but please leave some meat on them, I like meat too! Or they could be thinking. All right! My owner is home where are all of the bitches? I remember when you pimped me out for stud service. But did you ever explain just why this isn’t going to happen everyday? No! No! Do not make watch you have a party with your girl friends, when you haven’t thought of me that way. I will let you get away with just about anything if you put beer in my water / beer dish! All in all if any one of these things doesn’t happen in part, ( just one! I’ll let you pick.) it may cause you to get bitten! Who really knows for sure. Dogs could have fantasy?

( Just seem like there is three of us! I’m excited! Your home.)

For the smaller dogs they are thinking; It is about time! It has been so long, and it is hard to walk around my domain / your house with crossed legs. Must not pee yet! But real excited and…oopi. It was just a little, the pressure you know! Where is my ball? I’ll run and find it real fast and then we can go out right? Hay the door is over here… if you don’t take me out I’ll pee in my favored spot! Chew on your leather shoes! Okay ! If you don’t take me out right now! There is going to be an accident! I’m not going to be responsible for it!

As a human we can say “stop”, our dog knows just what this means. Doesn’t mean that they will obey! But if a dog barks at the human, even if it is an excited bark. Is still just a guess by people as to just what the dog wants at this point. Now who looks stupid? People expecting a dog to understand and listen. But people hear the barks of dogs, in one ear and out the other, only paying attention when it becomes awkward. Never really asking themself’s just what is up or taking some sort of action. Dogs have needs. Most people are good dog owners, and pay really good attention to their dogs. But the dog usually know more words of any human language, then any human understanding most kinds of dogs barking’s.

Why is it that dogs love their belly rubbed. More like they are addicted to this. No sooner than, right after you quit, the dog looks at you like What? So soon? Are you a quitter? It’s not like you do this all day long! But that would be cool with me if you did! So the looks on their faces seem to say at least. It is addicting for them. But it was a cruel quark of nature, to give them paws, instead of hands. If they had hands, they wouldn’t have a need to be so nice to humans. Is that where the phrase comes from. ” You have two hands so get it your self!” If dogs had hands! Well they would just lay around the house on their backs rubbing there belly’s all day. At least till they find out just where the food is kept. Then right back at it, till bed time.

( My human makes me so mad, I could strangle him if I had hands! Now that’s a dog treat!)

If dogs had hands you may find your shoes tied together, or hiding thing on you, or playing pranks on you that requires hands. You may even find yourself tied up to your bed posts in the morning. No! Your girl friend didn’t just leave you like that. Its mans best friend playing pranks on you. Remember the stud services? Your dog doesn’t either! idle hands are the devils work shop! That’s what your dog is barking out at you. Bark! Bark! Well you work too much and your staying home today! You would have to be half drunk to believe that, or have translated it.The “bark” from the book ” barking into english for dummy’s.” By now your probably checking by a sly glance in the direction of your dogs paws / hands. Think about it. Dogs have personalities, just as people do. So be glad that they have paws, or the world would be so different between you and mans best friend.

( Can we talk? Okay maybe later? Can I say one more thing?)

Despite the fact of just how funny people are for dogs to wonder about. It is the funny faces that dogs make in trying to figure us out, just how to train people better. At least so people come to have a greater understanding of dogs wants and wishes. Not so much to ask, when you consider how much dogs give already to people, even if people refuse to learn just what a bark means. It seems like I have to always repeat myself, so our dog is thinking. In turn people always say the same things like ” Stop!” Okay I will. But your going to be rubbing my belly!

” Bark less! Wagging more! ” Quote mans best friend. from the book ” Translate bark into english for dummy’s”

“Bark less! Wagging your ass-off on the dance floor!” From the book ” Translate bark into slang used in America, for dummy’s”

All the best!


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