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Banning “BOSSY”

Sheryl Sandberg doesn’t like a word a lot of people and parents use to describe little girls.

In an editorial for The Wall Street Journal, she called it “the other B-word.” In junior high, Sandberg recounts, a teacher stopped her best friend and told her: “Nobody likes a bossy girl. You should find a new friend who will be a better influence on you.”

She says as a kid, she didn’t really play with other kids, instead the current Chief Operating Officer of Facebook used to organize their play. Admittedly she said she didn’t play well with others, she liked to tell them just how they should play…excuse me, she liked to organize the other kids play and some how that wasn’t being bossy in her eyes?

I’m sorry, you are what you are when you act bossy–unattractive.

Last I checked nobody likes anyone else to tell them what to do, when to do it, or how? None of these kinds of interactions or demonstrations possesses any kind of leadership qualities. Rather these qualities are full displays of someone being overbearing, or even bitchy, but most definitely “Bossy”! Doesn’t the term “Bossy” apply equally to females and males alike whoever acts like this?

Leaders must possess the uncanny ability to persuade and to direct people while positively encouraging them, having the art of negotiating with people doesn’t hurt; inspiring people in an organization positively to do their best as a team player is every bosses job if they presume to be a leader as well as the boss? Bossy people never accept the concept of being a team player, they see people as minions doing what they are told and liking it. Surely these two comparisons are as separated and as wide as the Grand Cannons, yet Sheryl Sandberg looks at the issue as an organized attack on keeping girls down.

Remembering when John Kerry, while addressing a group of students in Berlin, the Secretary of State said, “In America, “you have a right to be stupid if you want to be.” I’m thinking he was speaking directly to some unmentioned people who would use the tactics of being “Bossy” while also trying to ban the term.

Could we also include, In America you have the right to act stupidly while being stupid? After all it is only Democrats who believe in banning Free Speech … I wish a lot of people would think before they speak, I would never suggest that their right to express stupidity should be banned.

Terms such as “Bossy” or someone who is being overly pushy, or overbearing, are not just descriptive terms but are abhorrent actions. Acting like this is unbecoming. We need better parents involved in active parenting willing to teach appropriate types of interaction with others, not banning words that only restricts Free Speech for everyone. But let’s get real! Let us explain to our little girls that the sky is the limit if one acts appropriately, because there is an appropriate way to get people to follow the leader. None of which are ever accomplished using bossy or overly bitchy tactics of telling people what they’re going to do. But rather let’s teach them how to be more persuasive in asking people to join the team, and working together as a team, all of which are true leadership qualities they should learn if only we would teach them?

Banning words because you personally don’t like them or making an open attempt to twist words and their meanings is just a full-blown demonstration of what it is for someone to be “BOSSY”!

Sheryl Sandberg sorry to burst your bubble but you’re not in grade school any more—so there is no need to organize society verbal play ground to your liking. I wish a lot of people would just think before speaking, certainly I would never suggest that their right to express stupidly should be banned: I just wish there would be a little pain associated with the act of acting stupid—because banning words and attempting to change public perceptions of words is the epitome of being the ultimate stupid “BOSSY” person that nobody likes to play with.


About mindwarpfx

the truth has no agenda! a mind is a terrible thing to waste! not to pass on a smile that you receive from someone else is a missed opportunity and a lost moment to make a difrence in someone's life! To have choices made for you is to be held captive, to choose, is the first steps in freedom, to except responsibility is to fly and be free to experience life!


3 thoughts on “Banning “BOSSY”

  1. Drives me crazy. Like a group of high school girls trying to decide on a flashy but easy project for school. Guess these bright ones never noticed that for over 30 years people have been talking about “how girl’s self esteem dropped in middle school/teen years”….oh, like when they were all in school and all the focus by parents and educators was trying to stop that?…So they are rediscovering the wheel?
    More likely a PR move by Beyonce to get past the bad PR on her last song from parents and press. “Hey, if we say B-word, all the people will think it’s about bitch and we’ll get a ton of attention”..they could actually help encourage courteous speech/girls self esteem and discourage that word usage, but it might be awkward with their musical companions profiting by using it ….it’s all about the money, again. SNARL.
    Thanks for writing – I’ve been too rabid about it

    Posted by philosophermouseofthehedge | March 17, 2014, 1:32 pm
    • you’re spot on with your analyses, It drives me crazy too. Why do we have to change words or their meanings to suit someone’s low self-esteem? It seems that those old lessons of (sticks and stones will break bones and those words will never heart me)isn’t progressive enough these days? Thanks for stopping by.

      Posted by mindwarpfx | March 20, 2014, 5:49 am
      • If a kid is so delicate that a word or facial expression can “hurt” him/her, something’s wrong with them…like maybe a parent that rushes in to over protect or fix things which means the child never learns to fend for themselves, no solve conflicts on their own, and will expect others to see how special they are and solve their problems for them their entire life. Constantly “fixing” things for a child quietly tells the child they are not capable or able to do things themselves.Cripples them for life
        If given a chance and a little modeling, even 3-4 year olds learn conflict resolution and how to handle bullying – skill that last a lifetime.
        Laughter, ignoring irritating people, and developing a “you are such a pathetic idiot not worth my time” scornful look works in many cases.
        Beyonce is trying to get back into positive ground after parents got irritated at some of her new song lyrics.
        Girls loss of self esteem was studied extensively – and everyone took steps to shore that up during the late 70’s and 80’s…these girls grew up under that. Bossy is not assertiveness. Bossy is negative behavior. Assertive is not. Teach the difference, moms and dads. Call down the bossy kids. Boys are called bossy,too, and have self esteem issues in middle school age – that’s why there are so many fights in schools.
        Love the interview where one of them talked about the bossy project(girls called bossy, boys praised for assertiveness) and how she gave her young daughter trucks and kept play gender neutral. But when asked if she gave/let her son play with dolls, she laughed and said “No, he’s not interested in those.” Does she even realize what she said and what that sounds like? Guess the PR script didn’t prepare her for that.
        All 15 min of free PR. If you want to do something, Ladies, do it, but be real. (As you see, it does drive me nuts)

        Posted by philosophermouseofthehedge | March 20, 2014, 9:04 am

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