Each day I start it with saying, “I’m going to have the best day of my life.” I end my day Knowing all the while I have had my day made completely or so it seems of half made efforts. Not intentionally but humans tend to do what is easiest or with the least energy expenditure.
Of course according to Zig Ziglar… “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most, for what you want now.”
In the animal world it is all about being different and making it known to all that you’re different. Bright colored feathers displayed, whooping antics that catch the eye and attention, funny to humans in their own way but serious stuff for animals. So what is it with humans; who only want to be different compared to each other, but work so hard in being the same? Working so hard at times without any notice even to us that non conformity is conforming to something isn’t it?
Have you ever seen a slow motion movie of a chameleon catching a meal? Incredible! Something simple like a bug comes within range of their lightning fast tongue? POW! Bam! Quick as lighting, truly incredible how long and fast these funny animals’ tongues are and accrete at that with the placement of the end of the tongue in order to catch that bug. On one such show I was watching, the tongue shot out, and hit the bug knocking it off some branch and kept right on going for what looked like a full extension. On the retraction the tongue got caught on that same branch, the chameleon had to struggle to get it back with his bug prize still attached. I laughed so hard it brought tears to my eyes. Just the look of surprised on the chameleon’s face struggling with his tangled tongue sent me over the edge.
Last night was one such moment in my life when I received a chameleons worth of a tongue lashing. POW, what a surprise! It knocked me back a bit. It caused me to sit up and take notice, to adjust some accountability, self-awareness, through self-reexamination. A question that hit me right between the ears, could I have been a human chameleon for most of my life, without ever taking notice of it before or even admitting it to self within my mind?
Humans are king of the world! Aren’t we? But I never saw a human chameleon before. At least until I took notice of my strange ability’s to be a chameleon. I learned or should I have said, what I saw within me was how I was living my life as a chameleon. Ever since I was very young I would lie or make up stuff. If people asked about me or what my true opinions are about stuff I would be quick to react… I thought I was just embarrassed, but didn’t really know why I chose to act this way. I hadn’t learned the multiple question test hints for idiots yet—go with your first impressions because they are usually are right. I along with everyone else in the world through assumption thought we all were taught not to lie? But assumptions made usually leaves an ass dismayed. If we weren’t taught to lie how did we come up with doing it and get so good at doing it? Certainly if I were taught to lie I should then be able to cast some blame onto that one person away from myself and onto someone else, right? Not that lying is a problem for me. But total honest presentations of “self ” maybe, as it is for most people?
It wasn’t till later that I learned that I had a fear of rejection. You hear about “fear of rejection” haven’t you? It is often these days presented as some over used psychobabble term thrown about to look smart in a calm way, while frantically looking for a better excuse for lying. But I didn’t identify with it until last night, as a way for people to become chameleons. Hiding in plain sight just melting into your surroundings like butter on hot toast, a David Copperfield magic trick with our true identities fantastically played for our egos. By living this way we become better than Mr. Copperfield all in the same to say the least, like nothing short of making the statue of liberty disappears, but somewhat different. One well-placed lie and presto, we have become the greatest magician! Hiding, yet in plain sight. Better than Mr. Copperfield? We have just blended, molded, or massaged ourselves into what everyone around us expected us to be. Welcome to the wild world of being a human chameleon, because I know you and I have done just that as well. At least I’ll admit to it, so have you I’m sure….???
So, many times over this last year I learned that I did things, when I was young and even now being so much older. I acted against my values, morals, and beliefs, all to “belong” to people or some group….? In finding a friend, to be a companion, a more complete stranger to a stranger, who was just looking for some kind help? So the newest animal in the world is… (Head hung low) me….. The human chameleon.
Reexamination time sucks doesn’t it?
My reaction to life’s troubles was becoming a better chameleon, hide, distort if necessary, as my tools of the trade being human, building “Better”? But a better what? At times doing whatever, and then having to explain it later to my conscience, as it wasn’t totally untrue… so it doesn’t qualify as a total lie? Just a slight bend in the road. A small distortion! Should I just admit it, my distortions accomplish nothing but a better built camouflage for the porpoises of deceit, to hide my true self-identity, or some insecurity? Hiding what everyone else sees “the perfect flawed me”? To be less different, to be more like everyone else? Why should I strive to be perfect, when everyone else isn’t so perfect themselves?
But admitting to one self we could do better, that required some honesty. Humans have hidden honesty while erasing it to a lost art form, it seems well hidden behind what has become a white or black lie, as the definition to being dishonest or not. But let’s face it; white or black, a lie isn’t anything but a different degree of that same short coming. Why are there any degrees at all? No one likes to be lied to, so never except one over the other.
As humans, we make improvements to our soundings all the time. We paint our homes, inside or out, just for change, for those small yet uplifting improvements. Even these small things make a difference to our behaviors, our attitudes. So why not make them with ourselves?
Well this time, it was about what I didn’t do because of the fear of rejection. It’s a beautiful thing to learn something intimate about yourself and wanting to be stronger as a result of some self-education. Courage comes into the mix of things; I must be stronger now so to be able to stick to my values and voice my opinions when appropriate. It doesn’t mean I’m looking to change my acquaintances, friends, or complete strangers, or even my significant other, to share in my values or even judging them by them. Being able to exercise my new-found ability, my true power to say no guilt free, is my choice in feeling unashamed, without the preconceived assumptions of self, as being ridged, stubborn, strange, confrontational or unlikable.
Because there is no graceful way to back out of something we excuse ourselves and act without thought; leading us down that spiral staircase to the bottom of a bottle feeling poorly about self.
Solution: Being a chameleon is all about being one with your soundings, hidden in plain sight. But being a human is all about the subdual “POW factor” the individual but a noticed one. Allowing other people to see you for who you are. Imperfect as we all are, different in every way while being structurally the same. Making us all interesting, and worth the efforts in getting to know each other on a personal level. It is about the simple things within our caricatures, not the hair, the tattoos, piercing’s, clothing, cars, the jobs or even the income we make. It isn’t about what we believe in, or what funny religion we have or don’t have. It shouldn’t be, about having to be a clone of what has been presented in print, as the perfect human; but celebrating the imperfect differences within our identical structures of being human. While taking the extra time to realize, and enjoy the moment shared without expectations of getting something in return.
Each day I start with saying I’m going to have the best day of my life. I end my day with saying I had the best day of my life. During the day as I drive to appointments, I say to myself “I’m having the best day of my life.” Frowning on that kind of attitude is hard to do. I have tried! The best thing about all this is, with a positive altitude it is hard to hide in plain sight. Why would you? We’re humans are top mammal and supposed to strut our stuff. After all what kind of impression could we make in presenting ourselves, devious of coerce as king of the jungle with a mouse like roar presentation?
A chameleon slapped me on either side of my face one day. Telling me that all mammals are not the same, stop trying to be the same, stop living life to someone’s else’s expectations all for fear of rejection. Life isn’t fair! The two mammals, the dolphin and the camel want to be friends, but it isn’t going to happen no matter how well placed the lie. Even David Copperfield isn’t that good.
Despite of the fact that I’m a slow learner, and I maybe the last human chameleon on earth. (I doubt that anyone else has had this problem?) I am taking evolution into my own hands, as I’m going to try to kill, (send to extinction) what I believe to be then the last human chameleon of its kind. All for a better life for myself. Because life isn’t all ways fair! So the human chameleon must go!