Events that should not be mentioned are the hardest things to also write about. Because we shouldn’t mention them by name at the very least I guess? A request I may or may-not follow? I have blogged about my love of caffeine/coffee’s and it’s delivery system and the overuse of coffee as well. I may have mentioned the bane of my existence as…. pain-killer medication? This one is not for me! Not that I love pain, in fact I run from when I can. So I qualify for a wimp award at the very least. That’s my story and I’m going to stick to it. You can choose your own excuses or just use mine?
Any who… everyone loves followers, or co-complainers of their wretched misfortune in life, or at times even with your great happiness; we love the co-party-goer quality, our friends that we barely know who will also buy us drinks, commiserating with us, but more of a personal reason to celebrate while saying “Glad you’re not me!”
The mix of pain-killers and caffeine, those complete opposite drug that affected the user very differently, seem to be my biggest problem of late. Surgery will do all of that for you though? It did for me. Not that I see myself with a problem either. I just don’t like the effects of them. So I will explain how I got here…..
It started last September, when I came home from work one Friday. The end of the work week and I was looking forward to some relaxing fun with my wife. I parked the truck in the driveway, swung the door open and slid out of the seat. My first step when my right foot hit the pavement had me crying inside like a baby. My outward appearance was like a pink flamingo of sorts, holding one knee in pain, and standing on one foot. A living but obnoxious yard decoration. I could only guess at the color of my face. I’m sure it was red. I was instantaneously sweating and sweat began pouring off my face. I tried to use one hand to wipe my brow; but that damn pain in the knee was like if someone was taking it off with a knife. While rubbing and massaging it I found a lump that also moved from the side of the leg to just under the inside of the knee-cap. That freaked me out all by itself.
Besides the pain, moving parts that moved when I wasn’t trying to move, and no recollection of injury, old or new, nothing out of the usual at work, and no outward wound. Left me just standing there, petrified, with an overabundance of freaky nuisance pain. To say it was an irritation is an understatement. But how long can I stand here on one leg, before falling down? Because I fear pain to no end, I stood there about 30 minutes. I’m sure the neighbors were looking at the strange display, and wondering themself’s, as I was?
Strang thing though, not one of them even bothered to ask me “what’s wrong, do you need help?” Guess I need to live in a better hood?
As sudden as the pain came— it went! In shock, I wondered into the house, up the stairs, and over to the couch. Attempting to sit down caused it again. I went 50 feet and upstairs, with nothing, no sensation of the slightest pain, but sitting down? Like a bad horror move the pain that wouldn’t die. It was out to do me in, like an out of control invisible knife cutting and slashing at my leg.
Stubborn, I didn’t want to go to the doctor either. Well that and the cost of it all— not having medical insurance, and the fact that the pain came and went so quickly. I saw the scene being played out.. I would go to the doctors and they would in turn, find nothing, charge me up the wazz-zu, only to arrive at home. Then cursing them out for resuming the position of standing on one leg with horrific pain again.
Of course doing nothing had little to no chance of a cure. I had the time bomb of pain in my knee, and I need supper man and his ex-ray vision as my doctor to figure it all out. Faster than a speeding bullet to me, the guy in pain seemed too slow.
By that Monday it was gone for 24 hours, convincing me of being healed. By that Wednesday the devil was back. Like a yo-yo swinging back and forth between cure and pain I decided to used a knee brace of my wife’s and well-la cured again for sure— till I took it off again and then…?
Feeling the moving piece of what ever was in my knee, just under the skin, convinced me I need surgery. This time I listened to the doctor… the voice that also plays doctor at times in my head, usually right after watching an episode of the TV show “HOUSE”. He cures weird stuff and this was defiantly qualified as being weird. But the doctor would also be expensive. Suffering through the next 6 months I raised the necessary funds, saved my business by positioning it so I could take a leave of absence. Then, and only then, I when to the doctor.
First one said. “ I can’t find it, don’t see it, nor do I feel it, and you don’t have any pain right now? We could take an ex-ray and see or maybe a MRI?” Just as I thought the first time. These doctors are…? I seemed to have lost conscientiousness for a moment. The dreaded MRI–at a cost to a non-insured individual like myself? Did I hear that right, an MRI? Might as well empty your pockets and then your bank account. I went with the ex-ray.
Much to my surprise the marble size lump showed up like stone just under my knee-cap. This doctor sent me to a surgeon. The surgeon said, “Well there is good news and bad. Good news is–you don’t need a MRI. The bad news is you need surgery.” Funny that is what House said too! “There is a bone somewhere just floating in your knee, and that will not fix itself. But if it doesn’t hurt you or bother, you can wait with surgery?” That TV show is good. Spot on with the diagnoses, now confirmed with my surgeons second opinion.
I elected to wait. I’m not the government that can just print money, or spend your tax money on my what looks like a pre-existing condition. With in my head there was an election brewing. This election lasted about one week. It was close with the votes, depending on the condition of…and the if and when the devil of pain returned. After surgery won a close election. It would take two more weeks till the surgery could take place, I continued to work limitedly up till two days before. Call me crazy! But I refuse to live by government hand out, till I can’t do anything for myself.
After surgery I was introduced to doctor feel good ( Pain-killers). Because even a small drink of alcohol gets me buzzed, and a life time of never taking even an aspirin; drugs and me don’t get along. They knock me out! I hate wakening up and finding out that I have slept for what seems like days of my life. It is my life an I hate to use it that way.
Who wants to have a lifetime worth of memories poked full of holes by drugs, legal or other wise, used properly or abused. NOT FOR ME! But at times one needs some pain-killers. When I get tired, I go for the caffeen, fully knowing it is a drug of sorts too. But I would bather have caffeen in coffee then something stronger turning me into a jellyfish. But that just me… you can decide for yourself.
Oh yea, the doctor said. “I broke my knee-cap on the inside of it. Just a strange fluke of dumb luck.” Remembering I didn’t fall, have an accident, or injury, past or present. I just stepped down onto my driveway at home, something I had done thousands of times in my 40 some years of life to this point.
I’M so through with dumb luck, and pain-killers. Broken bones too, being this was my first. I guess if your going to have some dumb luck in life, your also entitled to having some doctor feel-good drugs to recover from it.
If it wouldn’t be for dumb luck I wouldn’t have any at all. Providing that I’m not like that Bruce Willis move, “Man of Glass”, I should make a full recovery, and be running again.
Side note: I took doctor feel-good for only one day. But just siting around is killing me. I can’t wait to be able to walk again, and run again. I used to run a 7 minuet mile and held that pace for over an hour. Not being active is turning me into Pilsberry dough boy. Not that I’m complaining. Just drawing back the tapestry of my life and allowing you all a peek into it.
So what kind of dumb luck have you had?
All the best.
Ps. It has been now 13 days since surgery, 12 days ago I had my last pain-killers (When I think about that I guess I’m like Dexter on HBO… I killed those pills.) Picture me laughing right about now, it will giggle me for a while at least. But I went out today and just walked about 1/4 mile. I’m not going to say how long it took me. Point is… I’M back on my feet, and pain-free for the most part. But defiantly free from all (except coffee) drugs of any kind–even aspirin. Woop, it up. Cheers to me and all of you to.