While fanning the flames of unlimited expectations, we must consider success comes from chasing our dreams even to the ends of the earth. We shouldn’t worry about the things that we do not control. But rather we should worry, about the things that are also in our power to control, yet we choose not too! Everyone has dreams of unbelievable fantasy’s, unlimited expectations of something more positive then what we are experiencing at the moment. But then while looking over the neighbors fence, at everything he or she may have. It will always seem so much greener then our own. It is best not to live on dream like fantasy’s alone. Dreams are ment to be the inspirations to our life’s work, in making todays dreams into tomorrow’s reality’s. Not all dream that grace our mindsets are destin to become reality’s though. Some are so outrageous that there is no way, it is ever going to happen. Unreasonable? Why? Could it be when we get older, we have just forgotten how to dream big?
Celebrating the kid in us all, I say ” GO BIG OR GO HOME! ” At least with our dreams. Remember when we were kids, somehow life was ment to be lived on the razors-edge of dream versus reality! Every problem is solvable! Every obstacle is small in size! Every goal is achievable! Because life is full of unrestrained, unlimited expectations.
When things don’t always work out in my favor! I often ask myself. ” What would my younger self do?”
I know it is somewhat stupid? Asking yourself such a question. But it is better than going with the first impressions of acting on first feelings, followed by the first impulsive actions that came to mind. Kids often just act out in this way, and ask their questions later. But life isn’t a multiple choice questionnaire, to be filled out with first impressions. Now is it?
It isn’t all that cool, for a grown man to throw a tantrum. Yet my younger self would have. Life just sucks at time. I’m finding out, asking what would younger self do? As a way of looking for some painless outcome to the problems of some hours ago, net alone the present problems. Refusing to contemplate what true potential outcome of what ever the answer is. In hind sight, what only seemed like it could have turned out better than it did.
Why is it more appropriate for adults to enter a room that appears empty, and out of frustration just scream out at the top of our lungs. Only to have our eyes adjust to the situation. Slowly at first untill they become fully in focus, seeing all the other people in the room. The first thing that comes to mind is making an effort for a neat coverup. Saying out loud. ” Tension breaker! ”
Everyone who is by now recovering from the yelling heart attack, that you equally distributed to them. Who are now looking at you like, “your crazy.” Seem to have calm down somewhat when they hear your excuse. It is suddenly more acceptable behaviours if and when the “Tension breaker ” excuse is used. Thinking. It could have happen to them I’m sure. They reason. So why not screaming adults in a room, it’s a tension breaker? Is it throwing a tantrum? Should it just be seen, to these same people as an opportunity to call the insane asylum, as fast as their fingers could dial their cellphones?
Okay, kids tantrums last longer I guess. But there is also yelling, complaining, excuse making, more yelling, kicking, throwing one self down, and finely playing the attitude card of, ” No one cares!” After all of that, then walking away pouting and muttering to ones self. That’s okay for kids. But insanity for adults! What I’m saying is ” Kids start out in life being insane? Slowly as they grow up they then gain some of their sanity? I guess we are all just on that razors edge of having sanity / or being insane! But for adults the tension breaker scream is shorter in duration. But isn’t it, also the same thing then as throwing a tantrum? Prehaps a shorter duration of such outbursts, is so the adult can also make a quick escape. Never knowing just when the men in white suits will arrive, with your straight jacket.
Is the need of a tension breaker just the same thing for the youngster, and the adult who is young at heart? With building pressures and frustrations, both reasonable, and unreasonable, the need of a tension tantrum / breaker, always ends with this kind of result. Because adult people who also use the tension breaker, must certainly have asked themself. “What would the younger self do? ” Relying then, on past experiences of simpler times to give some reasonable reaction to the situation.
Kids seem to learn by doing. Throwing the tension breaker tantrum doesn’t always work. Then finely it stops working all together. What gives? Those unlimited expectations just keep on coming though. Along with those frustrations. Because things are suppose too….
Take a deep breath and let it our slowly.
Kids insanity’s seem to comes and go at will. Mainly because kids are hard-wired to be curious about everything. Being frustrated about something one minute. Then look over here…. no over there… What is that… coud I play with that… Is mom looking? The thoughts are running wild, with the imaginations, that fueled the fires of creosote’s.
With age they seem to remember for a longer time just why they were frustrated and therefore are more willing to act out with some reason. The thought posses is not always reasonable though.This is the times when all parents are checking with themself’s and each other. Just to see if sanity still exists, or is that just becoming an unachievable dream. Not yet realized, by the adult mind. Parents who have fought with kids about the unimportant. Never seem to see that they are involved in some sanity testing, administered by the 3-year-old of the house. Parents who have fought the good fight, to a point of compleat and total exertion of energy. Stumble down the hallway, after the child has fallen a sleep. The parent has quietly escaped down the hall. Only to enter an empty room, so as to let out the silent rebel yell, of tension breakers, along with tantrum like gyrations, with the last of their energy.
At some point in a childs life-cycle. We adults have to explain, and teach rational thought, in dealing with some situations in life. Of course that’s when the child has also discovered the word and its meaning of ” WHY!” Is that, when the momentary lapse of reasons are thrown in to the wind. The common thoughts are then…” We as adults are at this point of loosing it and yet we are going to survive this ordeal. With all of our faculties in place, or we are going to be drinking heavily. In order to cover up our insanity. This also gives us the bad excuse of the alcohol made me do it. After all who wants to admit to, sanity is slipping away.”
Kids who have unlimited expectations, dreams, and fantasy’s to match ( Unrealistic ones, as well as some impossible ones to boot.) never see these dreams as being impossible. I’m sure the person that came up with. ” Don’t make mountains out of mole hills.” Was just a 4 or 5-year-old that didn’t wish to hear the answer given by their parents in response to something unreasonable. The answer being ” NO! ”
“Because I said so.”
” Because I don’t have the money right now.”
Because I had to pay some other bills.”
“Because… Why don’t you ask your mom?”
How many times can the kid ask the question of “Why”? Why do I fall for that every time? Then answer it 5 or 10 or …..? See! They got me asking myself “WHY!” That’s the start of it all. Slipping down that slippery slope to the guys in the white suits. I was deep in thought, as what my next move should be?
When it comes to unlimited expectations. Why do kids change their minds so much with what they expect? It always starts off small and then, if you let them they can out spend the federal government in an afternoon, and still have more room to go for more before dinner. With the blizzards of ideas within their heads, where do they have the energy to throw a tantrum? When the expectations aren’t met, and the terrible answer still is ” NO!”
Remembering back to when it was time to get the family’s first pet, at the requests of our little bundle of joy. Yes this was the time when I had more of my sanity intact.
Grabbing my keys for the car we were heading out the door to buy, the goldfish. Half way down the stairs to the parking lot where the car was. It changed to…
“Let’s get a cat! They are fluffy and soft, not like a fish.” The excited voice expressed the unreasonable request, that was made by my little girl.
“Well I don’t know..” I was looking for the best excuse and fast. ” We don’t have a room for the cat. Yea! We need a house or something.”
“Well how about a dog then?” They are soft.”
She didn’t realize that they are one of the same thing. ” Well sweetheart we don’t have a house for a dog. They need a space to bark at mail-men.” I said. While climbing into the car buckling up with the seatbelts, then starting the car, and we were off to the pet store.
“Maybe we need to get to the pet store and take a look at all of the goldfish?” I suggested, as a way to get back to the fish for a pet thing. She didn’t look happy, but she was still quiet.
Pulling up to the pet store and I’m just looking for the closest bar by now! ” Yata, Yata, Yata, gotta go! The blizzard of ideas from your child is just too much. How are we going to…” I expressed to my wife with a good deal of frustration, yet holding back some.
She smiled at me and said. ” Lets just go in and see. It will be alright.” giving me a slight rub with her hand on my back, to calm me down some.
One hour later we were going home. We didn’t buy anything or so it seemed. My daughter was happy and just singing a happy song to her self, as we drove. My mind was numb and tiered of endlessly explaining to an unreasonable mind. That was full of thoughts of unlimited expectations.
” I’ll pick up the puppy from the store tomorrow on my way home from work.” My wife said.
“We bought a dog?” It was a flurry of open-ended ideas that were being tossed about in the pet store. I thought. ” When did we decide to get the dog honey?”
” Come on the dog is better idea anyway. She can ruff-house with it, and the dog can take it better than a cat. Don’t you think so?” She said.
“Well…” We bought a dog! I thought. Dogs bite! But then cats can scratch! “Okay then! You will get the dog on your way home.” I answered. Talking a deep breath. Trying to hold back from doing what younger self would have done an hour ago, and just kept it up for that whole hour. Taking another deep breath…..
Looking back using the rear view mirror. I could see my daughter singing. Little did I know that the blistered’s of ideas were still bouncing off the walls of the young mind. Not just the reasonable ones either. After all she had changed her mind from the goldfish to cat, dog, rabbit, rat, mouse, monkey, back to dog but bigger ones, next to the snakes, then to the horse……ect. I took a deep breath, as my tension breaker, and continued to drive home in silence.
tomorrow couldn’t get here fast enough. But when it did all unlimited expectations were released, along with the unreasonable ones as well. My daughter looked at the big box with holes all over it, with great expectations! She could hardly wait. But when the lid came off there was no describing it. The loudest of tension breakers of screams came from this little girl?
” A puppy! NO! Not a Puppy!” She screamed.
I tried to explain. ” We live in an apartment and… you should be lucky to have a dog.”
She wasn’t buying it. She looked at me with all the determination a little girl could. Then said. ” Tale it back! I wanted a pony!”
She wasn’t listening to me at all. Unlimited expectations said. ” My last request was a pony and a pony it should be or else! ”
My thoughts, only had questions. “What to do next?” The one question that won was… “What would my younger self do?” If you can’t beat them. Join them!
We both let out the loudest of tension breaker tantrum scream, followed by the full-blown tantrum of shaking bodily gyrations, untill exhausted.
At that point, the puppy came over to lick us up. The dog’s way of saying. ” Glad to be a part of the family. Now where is the cat to chase around? ”
With unlimited expectations the hardest lesson to learn is…”We must learn our limitations, to then be considered to have grown up into being an adult! Rather than just being insane.”
All the best.