For mothers day, calling mom up and talking with her was the thing to do. Being far away from each other made it the next best thing. Being able to remember some old memory’s, is just a great time in remembering them with mom, as well as a good time spent. While getting our points across in conversation, we would love to remember just how special mom’s are to us. Calling is the next best thing to being there. Letting her know how special she is, is often not done enough. But I had this burning question to ask her. I have this note written on some paper with a smudge on the bottom of it. I didn’t seem to know where it came from and why it came to be. Maybe she did?
Mom the parenting battle is never finished is it? Even though you tried to let me in on the secret knowledge. Some how I refused to learn. With those same memory’s that we both seem to have, I’m stubbornly also reminded about the secret knowledge. You always see things differently I’m sure. Not that I’m, in no way also giving it a good try. In seeing it from your point of view. But would it hurt you to have a quick look from my view points?
Thanks mom for the curse. When you told me. You hoped that my kids would probably turn out the same at best, or 10 X worse. Little did I know that hell on earth was possible. But parenting is a little like that at times. Unknown to a new parent. But some diamond in the rough of unseen knowledge, brought about by experiences you parents had with us. Replaying memory’s in a quiet moment of time within our lives, as a brake from life itself. Lost in thought, replaying all of the lost opportunity’s, as well laughing about all the fun times. Trying our best to forget some of those less desirable times that we put you through. I’m sure you are checking constantly with yourself, or within your own minds at least. Looking for the reassurances of having maintained sanity through all of those past years. These are just some of the reasons I have come up with. That grandparents have for sugaring up the kids. Giving them a real sugar highs. Then sending them home just before the sugar takes full affect. It isn’t pay-backs is it? For all of those times that we tested you. Or is it rather, you are now just taking advantage of some opportunity’s that you have, of teaching adult kids, lessens still to this day? A job that is never done I guess. Teaching! But are you trying to say? ” Don’t mess with our sanity!”
To be insane or not, or just on this side of loosing sanity, wholly driven there by testing kids through the years, is the question everyone ask at some point of themself’s. Yet when it is happening to you, by your kids, the answer isn’t so clear as those kids who have drawn their own conclusions. For some reason it seem like this lesson is always learned best through experiences, not by some instruction of parents who have now become grandparents. I’m just a slow learner I guess. Do you think or is it…?
If kids are truly the test of sanity for all of us adults. Lets be adult together, and then support each other in maintaining our sanity or what is left of it together.
For all of the times I got into the cooky jar, without asking. Even though I had cooky crumb face. It wasn’t me! My sister made me do it. She was the bad influence. Despite I always thought she was the favored one. She never did anything, and I always got the blame! Just for a reference to the past. Thought you would finely like to know the truth.
For the chocolate bar wrappers found in my room. It wasn’t me! I don’t even like chocolate that much. Sis did that to! She loves chocolate!
For answering every question with a question. Like ” What? ” I was just trying to find out how many ways there were to explain, all of those things that you were asking about. I was just trying to learn from my Mom! So what is wrong with that? What?
It was then, just out of love I say. That’s the reason why! I then changed my questions to ” Why?” which then changed to “ How come? ” and then to ” Why for?” Then back to the question of ” Why? ” I didn’t fully understand, as to the ” Why ” you got so mad at me? There wasn’t a good explanation given. You were on a roll with your explanations, but some how I missed that one. I lost count as to how many explanation you gave as the total record. But getting mad and then yelling at me, ” Are you trying to drive me crazy?” Was just some how a new opportunity to ask ” What? ” Sorry you didn’t see that, inquisitive minds have to know. ( I really wished I knew what the record was. So when my kids ask. I have something to shoot for.) But Sis was behind that too! She said you like explaining things. Just what is wrong with practicing then?
Sorry for changing my clothes from what you picked out, and then changing through all of my clothes on laundry day. Leaving them in a pile in the middle of the room. But I had to find my favored ones. Trying them all on, reminded me as why they were my favored in the first place. Lets just call it forgetfulness, shall we? Glad you didn’t forget to re-wash, fold, and hang them up and put them all away again. I don’t believe I ever said thanks! So Thanks! At least that was the impression that you gave me. ( Just a thought of mine. Did you re-wash them? Or did you just get mad and put them back without? ) Okay! Don’t answer that one. I’ll probably just end up asking ” Why ” anyway.
Thanks for teaching me, how not to tell everything all at once, and keeping some secrets for later. This is useful at times. But why did you have to teach me about having to work for my money? Having to do chores around the house, instead of having fun with my friends. Didn’t leave me with a sense of accomplishment now did it? You were always teaching us kids to share. But you never shared by telling us about that “money tree” you and dad had. I could have used some of that money for candy. I was all to willing, to then go buy it for myself. It would have saved me from throwing a lot of tantrums, and it would have been less stress on your part. I can now see the need to have some secrets. Now that I’m an adult to. My kids are just the same way or something else. But did you really have to kill the tree? Don’t you know that work sucks? Did you really Killing the money tree….? I know! Don’t tell me then. BUT WHY?
I never understood just why we had clothes that seemed a little to small. Your explanations of growth spurts didn’t seem to fit at the time. But now I’m sitting here looking forward to when all fashions of the past, become new fashions in the present. Kids are now running around with size 50 pants, having to hold them up even with a belt on. With that visual in mind I have to ask about the belt thing, Why? Not looking for your answer, just a question. They will never grow into those size of pants, unless parents feed them McDonald’s 4 times a day. Wareing pants like this only accomplishes, showing off to everyone their boxers? I guess they never ever thought about having to get out of a burning building real fast. All the while trying to hold up their pants. I finely understand why you always told us kids to have new, and clean underpants on. Still waiting for that fad to come about though. Of course If kids had pants on that fit. But who would really care these days?
Thanks for all that you did in making sure I would grow-up, in become a mirrored reflection of you today. Thanks for teaching me to eat all of my vegetables, getting exercise, and sharing. But I do have some concerns for you. Seem like my kids are asking a lot more questions when they come home from your place. They also tend to be bouncing off the walls of sorts. Are you feeding them veggy’s or candy?
” No! Mom! Do not play my game with me! What?”
“Are you getting forgetful? It is okay to admit it if you are. Your secret is safe with me. What is that…” Mom seem like she is in the testing spirit.
“Why? ” Mom asks. With a big grin.
” I can help with some mental exercise. Like playing some games with you that will help with memory’s. What is that your saying? ”
” Why? ” Like the cat who ate the canary. She pushes the last of the feathers into her mouth, thinking I love this game!
” But the reason I ask is, the kids are stealing chocolate bars from my hiding place, refusing to eat their veggy’s, thinking I’m made of money and just being unreasonable with their questions. I’m having to repeat myself constantly, and over and over. The laundry pile seem like an avalanche of linen, burying me up to my neck. At times I hear voices, but no one is there. Just the voices in my head reminding me of yesterday. Kind of like what I remember you saying. ” They would be like, 10 X worse than me” ! So is that only when they become teenagers? Was I really that bad? Will the job of parenting get worse, when they are teenagers? ”
” Why do you ask? What is going on? What then…? ” Answering with compleat innocence.
“Did you write this note to me titled, (Read later on in life )?”
” No! What? What note? ”
” Come on Mom! You wrote it?”
” Accusing me! ” I will now plant the seeds of doubt. For the reality check you never seemed to learn. She thought. ” You know that Sis did teach you things, that I didn’t approve of? Have you…”
” Are you telling me that this note, the one with the smudge on it at the bottom of the page? Might even be some chocolate! Yes! A chocolate smudge at the bottom!” Unfolding it just to remove some wrinkles, making it smoother and maybe easier to read through the smudge. ” It says… It isn’t a curse, its mothers wisdom, untill time catches up with you, and your know it all attitude! You didn’t … or your saying.. NO!”
“I’m not saying anything. Why or what?” I set that hook real deep! Damn. This kids game is fun, now finely they have to check if their crazy or not! Love that!
“Did you write that to me a while ago….. What was that?”
“Mothers don’t curse anyone! Why would you think that?”
“Well I seem to remember you saying, the 10 X worse thing.”
“Okay Mom. I will be over in a bit and pick up the kids and you, then we will go out for Mothers day dinner. Okay?”
” We will be here.”
” Happy Mothers day! See you in a bit. Love you!”
” Okay! Love you to! Remember mothers don’t curse anyone. Well maybe with the word damn it! But only once in a while. Mothers who then become grand mothers only get even!” She gives out a chuckle. ” See you soon. Good-by.” I will have to explain it all later. But for now it is turning out to be the best mothers day revenge ever. What…..? love that! She thought.
” Hay! Kids! Time to put the chocolate, the candy, and gum away. Drink up all of your hot chocolate. Quickly now. Your mom is coming over and we are going out for dinner. You know! You probably can order anything. All you want! You know the drill if she asked? Don’t you??”
” Yes grand-ma. We answer “Why” or “What? ” The kids answer with chocolate smiles on their faces.
I have a few moments to relax a bit and enjoy these thoughts. “Curses!” laughing out loud a bit. It is so much better getting even, through some kind of sugared revenge, and watching the show! After all that’s when ( Every day is mothers day )! Now why didn’t those kids listen to me all those year ago? WHY? I suppose I could offer some insight. No! Not yet. Got to play with this for a while, then I’ll tell them. Besides the grand baby’s love me, or is that they love chocolate! Who doesn’t like that?
All the best! Happy Mothers Day Mom’s!
Ps. ” If Mom didn’t write that note…. Then My sister must have. Making it sound like mom? Oh SIS! you have it coming I tell Ya! ” Thoughts are now running wild of pay backs…. or was this pay back, mom’s way? CURSES!
To all parents; kids can be blessings and curses at the same times. Without, we would only have half of the memory’s of family. HAPPY MOTHER’s DAY!