Just in time for celebrating February 14/2012 valentine’s day! Yes, love your sweety, and remember just what caught your eyes to make them your’s. Never forgetting, “no one is perfect”, and still you both found each other as a perfect fit. So when life gives you challenges, remember they too will be funny some day. At least after the passage of time. At that moment you can then look back and laugh. If you don’t find those times of your past down right funny! You may have ” Alzheimer’s !” But if you could have a choice pick “Falseheimer’s “, instead.
Going about my day, it is only natural to be forgetting something like most people. You all have forgotten something before? So you know! I keep telling myself this at least. No need to worry about some things that ultimately will show up some time in old age. Like it or not. Nothing we can do about it. We defiantly can’t slow down the clock, or the hands of time. So I will keep investing into company’s like biotech’s for now. It is only because they keep giving us the promises of finding the cure of….? If that doesn’t work they will just clone me! Now that can be a win..win position to be in.That will be great! If they team up with Google, in some futuristic way, so I can have all of my acquired knowledge within my new body? Hay it could happen! Don’t doubt science, they cloned sheep, they have mechanical hearts, they have computer brains with unlimited memory’s? It could yet happen for us.
Now! If I could only find my ATM card! Old or new it doesn’t matter much to me. I need some cash now! Where the hell is it?
Forgetting to bring home the milk when asked isn’t much of problem. It was on my mind but then traffic got in the way, you know? “Traffic is that way! I found my self in the wrong lane. Having to go up the extra long hill, just putting me closer to home then the store!” This is the excuse that you offer, when you arrive without milk. “But if you still want me to go? Do you want to go with me?” Nice cover for forgetting the damn milk. I had every intention to remember it! But…. Having to think quick at times has me saying the first thing that came to mind. The close second thing was.. I forgot the damn milk again! I say this to myself of course.
I’m sure that isn’t the case for anyone else out in life? Forgetting the milk, everyone has done it once in a while. Kind of like sex. The average amount of times that marred people do it per week is 2-3 times. And no one forgets that, except names of course? So If I forget the milk, less than that average, no biggy. Your just being forgetful. No worry’s. It’s not the dreaded ALZHEIMER’S! But if you forget her name? Hell hath no furry!! They drive Chevy’s there. ( A jab at government motors, using the Plymouth furry.) But you know that after driving through the shadows of the valley of death. And fearing no evil.” It’s just milk honey!” The devil in her is giving her that look. So back in your chinese made hummer now, or a Toyota land cruiser, Ford F-250 4X4. I mean, take your pick.
Forgetting names is a good one. Only if you’re at the company Holladay party. ” So who was that?” She asks.
” Who?” Look puzzled and then add. ” I don’t really know. I’m bad with faces.”
Of course if you called your significant other by a different name lately that may not work out as intended.
Then claiming to have Alzheimer’s isn’t the wisest thing to do either. Forgetting just why you’re claiming to have it. Just starts you down that road of wondering. Do I!!
Truth is, being pre-occupied is a better excuse. All though not the excuse to use after sex.
One may use the less dreaded disease, as the excuse of choice! ” FAULSEHEIMER’s !” Faulsehiemer’s is almost the same thing as Alzheimer’s. With one small detail. It gives you the pre-made excuse of being forgetful. With all the pity, of the biggest of any pity party’s out there! People will overwhelmingly feeling so sorry for you. They will practically go out of their ways to help you with… you name it! You have the disease of Faulseheimer’s? Really? Of course it is totally up to you, what you wish to remember or not. Faulseheimer’s covers it all. You don’t have to have false guilty conceptions either. Faulseheimer’s is curable. Of course it is up to you and your doctor that knows you best, to self administer the cure.
Come on! Haven’t you introduced yourself as a doctor to some one before? Who knows you better than you? You can then cure yourself of anything. Your entering middle age… The doctor has the cure! ( Maybe I should be whispering in your ear now. ” the doctor of yourself .” ) You just have a need of a more interesting life, The doctor has the cure! Being a doctor of BS-iology, you are into the new age self-cureing methodology.
You’re at this great party and you have a need of a more interesting occupation then the one you have. ” Honey bucket’s ” its, a business! You’re a business owner. Isn’t that good? Every signal girl likes to be on the arm of a successful businessmen! Okay Then! Renting out those outhouses on construction jobs isn’t full of glittery fame. But I once knew a man who was a millionaire, (self-made, may I add), with just such a business. No BS, or pun intended!
Scrap that idea! It is all about first impressions. A doctor of Faulseheimer’s research, at the fully intended institute of forgetfulness. ( The FIIF ) Has a better ring to it! Now that’s jaw dropping, first impressions. Not to be confused with the other terms and abbreviations of ( MILF ) At least its less confusing for blonds. But even more impressive to them.
If any of these real young girls who may also have the Alzheimer’s gens within them,( as being the reason for their brain power). In questioning you then later, as why your driving a Chevy as a doctor of Faulseheimer’s. You should always remember that hell hath no furry’s. You lost your, very old real cherry muscle car! Your beloved Plymouth Furry, with only 30,000 orignal miles on it. To a divorce. Now your ex drives it. Might get some sympathy for the divorce thing, or a true test of brain function if she recognises you’re in hell because of the divorce. ( Are you hearing the song ” Sympathy for the devil ” in your head right about now too? ) But Blonds? Everything about cars, just goes over their heads. Sounds good. So it may pass as a kind of rasel dasle of the ” Bull S**T ” kind? So It could score some points as well.
As you can see. Clamming to have a true case of Faulseheimer’s can get you where you like to be. But it has its price you must be willing to pay for doing so. But if you try to use this excuse of faulseheimer’s for illegal activity’s? I and every other doctor in the world can not and does not indorse this kind of behaviors. The only advice is then. Well don’t get caught! If your caught and convicted. You will spend some quality time with your new roommate Bubba! In which case claiming Alzheimer’s over Faulseheimer’s becomes more of a prayer to your GOD. To be blessed with true Alzheimer’s! Please GOD the faster the better! Because Bubba just informed you. ” It is graduation night. It’s your turn to ware the prom-dress.” Just not a night to remember!
All the best!
1) Faulseheimer’s has no significant side effects other than pissing off your significant other!
2) Only use as directed by mostly single people.
3) Any other use or over use ( Also known as a over-does ) Will and can often result in death. Depending totally on your ex’s!
4) Faulsehimer’s all so has been known to induce outrageous pissed-off moments of verbal out bursts by other people. ( Like family, friends, ex wifes, ex husbands, ex boyfriends, ex girlfriends, or compleat strangers. ) This however greatly depends on just how pissed off they are.
5) Mixing other drugs with Faulseheimer’s could lead to true Alzheimer’s, or at least permanent brain damage. In which case the forgetting to use faluseheimer’s is the only side effect. The continual use of other drugs with the chosen use / over use of Faulsehimer’s. May lead to this condition being permanent. All so known as Brain damage that has become permanent.
6) Check with your state as to what the legal age for blonds are? Before administering or self dosing, or self inoculation, of Falseheimer’s. This could be hazardous to your real health. Leading you to having unwanted interludes with Bubba. Or other wise an early prison education and graduation party.
7) Faluseheimer’s was, and is not intended for adolescent use. There seem to be a higher amount of side effects with adolescent use. ( Could be why every question is answered with a question. ” What? ” If this happen to often check with family doctor for your second opinion.)
8) Considering only to use Faluseheimer’s, only in place of true memory loss. as a coverup is the only recommended use. Use at your own risk!
9) Should Faulsehimers seem like it isn’t working as well as it used to. It may be do to, or just after an extended use of it, or over use of it. In short people are on to you! It may then induce migraine headache. Should this be the case. Take 2 dammit-all pills and call your family psychological doctor.
You have been warned!