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If dogs could talk!

                                             ( Do you hear what I’m saying?)

interesting concept I know. Dogs can’t talk, or can they? Not in the way you or I would talk to each other. But the barking they do, at or with other dogs, or fire trucks when they go by, or when a stranger that comes to the door to sell you on the latest religion’s flavor of the week. Isn’t it just for fun? Isn’t barking just dogs ways of expressing words, in the only way they can speak? Maybe not words like we would have chosen to say to each other in conversation, but those barks have some meanings to some dog out there. Have you seen dogs just bark, and bark, and then wonder, just what is with these humans? Why can’t they understand? Why do I waste my time barking at all? Seem like they just get upset, which leads them to threatening me, and tell me ( The dog) to be quiet. The next time a thief comes over to boost your car, I will be an award-winning pointer dog, and point in the direction of the spar keys. You know! The fake rock, right there in the garden, along with all of the other non rock like things. You know the only rock in the middle of a big barked off area. At least put some other rocks in the same place so it looks like you tried. You don’t have to have a rock garden. All to confuse you when your drunk. Who knows what goes through a dogs mind. They just look at you, and you at them, both of you just as confused about the other with this communication barrier.

( Listen up only telling you once!)

Being human how are we to know just what a dog is saying or trying to tell us? On the other hand, we all know someone who has a dog that barks at everything! So yes they can look confused, or easily tricked by the door bell, or a person knocking on some door in a move on TV, phones ringing, kids playing a bit to loud out on the street, sudden movements in general. All in all, the list goes on and on if we let it. We just keep on thinking stupid dogs! But are they really stupid? They may be one of the ultimate animals that have trained us instead of the us training the them?

Who doesn’t like the family dog greeting us when we get home? Mans best friend or what? They are just happy! Wiggling, wagging, maybe some barking, tongue licking / a slobbering welcome home party in a dog. Just try to get this kind of attention from your kids, or spouse. Okay skip that last one. So that is the views of the human owner, when at first we open the door. The dogs point of view maybe somewhat different indeed.

For the bigger dog who has been outside all day long, maybe just thinking; It’s about time! I freezing my butt off out here. Would it hurt to leave some extra food in my bowl to last all day? A ball to play with? Are you kidding me? Just where is the smaller version of you to throw it? Did I mention the word ball? Throw me a bone! Will you?To chew on that is. I like bones, but please leave some meat on them, I like meat too! Or they could be thinking. All right! My owner is home where are all of the bitches? I remember when you pimped me out for stud service. But did you ever explain just why this isn’t going to happen everyday? No! No! Do not make watch you have a party with your girl friends, when you haven’t thought of me that way. I will let you get away with just about anything if you put beer in my water / beer dish! All in all if any one of these things doesn’t happen in part, ( just one! I’ll let you pick.) it may cause you to get bitten! Who really knows for sure. Dogs could have fantasy?

( Just seem like there is three of us! I’m excited! Your home.)

For the smaller dogs they are thinking; It is about time! It has been so long, and it is hard to walk around my domain / your house with crossed legs. Must not pee yet! But real excited and…oopi. It was just a little, the pressure you know! Where is my ball? I’ll run and find it real fast and then we can go out right? Hay the door is over here… if you don’t take me out I’ll pee in my favored spot! Chew on your leather shoes! Okay ! If you don’t take me out right now! There is going to be an accident! I’m not going to be responsible for it!

As a human we can say “stop”, our dog knows just what this means. Doesn’t mean that they will obey! But if a dog barks at the human, even if it is an excited bark. Is still just a guess by people as to just what the dog wants at this point. Now who looks stupid? People expecting a dog to understand and listen. But people hear the barks of dogs, in one ear and out the other, only paying attention when it becomes awkward. Never really asking themself’s just what is up or taking some sort of action. Dogs have needs. Most people are good dog owners, and pay really good attention to their dogs. But the dog usually know more words of any human language, then any human understanding most kinds of dogs barking’s.

Why is it that dogs love their belly rubbed. More like they are addicted to this. No sooner than, right after you quit, the dog looks at you like What? So soon? Are you a quitter? It’s not like you do this all day long! But that would be cool with me if you did! So the looks on their faces seem to say at least. It is addicting for them. But it was a cruel quark of nature, to give them paws, instead of hands. If they had hands, they wouldn’t have a need to be so nice to humans. Is that where the phrase comes from. ” You have two hands so get it your self!” If dogs had hands! Well they would just lay around the house on their backs rubbing there belly’s all day. At least till they find out just where the food is kept. Then right back at it, till bed time.

( My human makes me so mad, I could strangle him if I had hands! Now that’s a dog treat!)

If dogs had hands you may find your shoes tied together, or hiding thing on you, or playing pranks on you that requires hands. You may even find yourself tied up to your bed posts in the morning. No! Your girl friend didn’t just leave you like that. Its mans best friend playing pranks on you. Remember the stud services? Your dog doesn’t either! idle hands are the devils work shop! That’s what your dog is barking out at you. Bark! Bark! Well you work too much and your staying home today! You would have to be half drunk to believe that, or have translated it.The “bark” from the book ” barking into english for dummy’s.” By now your probably checking by a sly glance in the direction of your dogs paws / hands. Think about it. Dogs have personalities, just as people do. So be glad that they have paws, or the world would be so different between you and mans best friend.

( Can we talk? Okay maybe later? Can I say one more thing?)

Despite the fact of just how funny people are for dogs to wonder about. It is the funny faces that dogs make in trying to figure us out, just how to train people better. At least so people come to have a greater understanding of dogs wants and wishes. Not so much to ask, when you consider how much dogs give already to people, even if people refuse to learn just what a bark means. It seems like I have to always repeat myself, so our dog is thinking. In turn people always say the same things like ” Stop!” Okay I will. But your going to be rubbing my belly!

” Bark less! Wagging more! ” Quote mans best friend. from the book ” Translate bark into english for dummy’s”

“Bark less! Wagging your ass-off on the dance floor!” From the book ” Translate bark into slang used in America, for dummy’s”

All the best!


About mindwarpfx

the truth has no agenda! a mind is a terrible thing to waste! not to pass on a smile that you receive from someone else is a missed opportunity and a lost moment to make a difrence in someone's life! To have choices made for you is to be held captive, to choose, is the first steps in freedom, to except responsibility is to fly and be free to experience life!


4 thoughts on “If dogs could talk!

  1. I always wondered what a dog voice would sound like. You have to figure some dogs would talk funny in really deep or really high voices. It’s probably best they don’t talk. Dogs who bark at everything are so annoying. What can they possibly be saying “Get away from here mailman! I don’t want your bills!” Still I want a dog talk to me one day. Just to say I experienced it.

    Posted by mooselicker | December 17, 2011, 2:09 pm
    • Why do mailmen/women wear shorts? Gives dogs less of a chance to latch onto something in the chase. LOL If you ever have a dog talk to you video tape it and place it on youtube, or pass it along to me. So I can have or share in the experience as well. Don’t bather bleaping the the “F” word. I think dogs use those kinds of words more then humans do at times. I can tell just by the barking, and a growl added in for emphasis / The “F” word. Thanks for looking around. All the best!

      Posted by mindwarpfx | December 18, 2011, 9:30 am
  2. thanks for appreciating dogs! they say more without speaking than most humans can with their lips constantly running. dog are not as glorified as they should be…

    Posted by Julia | December 17, 2011, 12:32 pm
    • Hi Julia, thanks for looking around my blog. You know your right. Dogs are not as glorified as they should be, or humans ar just over inflated at times. Its nice to see other living things bring back to earth again. LOL. Thanks again, all the best!

      Posted by mindwarpfx | December 18, 2011, 9:17 am

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