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Cell phone: GOD: Embarrassment

” Can I see your driver’s licence, registration, and proof of insurance please.” The police officer asked with a kind voice, yet in a commanding way of authority.

I leaned over to the glove box and dug around for the info he was requesting. A type of fear started to build within me as I was looking for the registration. Ah, relieving my fears as I find it at the bottom of the stack of papers. I then turn to digging through my wallet for the driver’s licence. “There you go sir.” I handed him the info that I found, hoping that he didn’t yet have to much of a negative opinion.

“Thanks. Do you know why I’m pulling you over?” He asked as he leaned over to get a better look of my face. He was probably trying to get a better view to find some tells, as if I was or had ben drinking. As well as determining if I was trying to lie to him.

” Thought I was in the limit. But was I speeding?”

“Well I pulled you over because I thought I saw you on your cell phone. Let me check this info out back at my car. Sit still and I’ll get back to you soon. Okay?”

“Okay officer, will do.” I answered. Crap! On the phone. Thought I had my hand covering the phone and gave the look of just propping my head up with it. Guess not! So now what do tell him when he gets back? All so that I don’t get this ticket. What I needed was a real good lie. But what? I glanced back at the police car through my rearview mirror. Yes he is still back there. That gives me more time then. The phone starts to ring again. instinctively I reach out for it, but stop myself short.

” Rick! Stop calling me you idiot!” I said out loud.

Rick was the person I was talking to when I got pulled over. I did tell him that I was getting pulled over, I would be calling him back when I could. So what gives. Stop the calling. I thought. Glancing back and seeing the officer still running my plates I guess. I went back to coming up with a great lie. Hay a good lie, here in the now, will save me like $80.00 or so. This screwed up state is just crazy! Talking with someone on the cell phone is considered distracted driving. But what bull that is. I could be arguing with the person in the passengers seat of my car, while eating a hamburger, and spilling lava hot coffee in my crotch! As long as I’m driving within my lane, and straight, as well as going with the flow of traffic and not looking like I’m on my cell-phone that’s okay? Just the thought of that makes me sick.

“Stop you damn guy. Rick just stop it!” I yelled at the phone on the center council as if Rick could hear me. Now that’s the third time he is calling. Stopping my self is hard but the red and blue lights in the mirror is all the reminder I need. Yes He is still back there. I said to myself once again.

I cant believe this! All I was going to do, was go home! My blue tooth ran out of power and had to use the hand set then. Seem like just for moment or so, and then this! I was going over it like there was a replay button. But what’s the point can’t do anything now. The silence was broken once again by the phone ringing. I glanced back in the mirror just to see where he was and figured if I could answer the call real quick and then get off the phone. I can’t have the phone ringing when the officer comes back up to my car?

” Listen!” I said ” Would have call you back! Didn’t you listen to me when I said I was getting pulled over?” I paused just for a moment to get an answer. Fully expecting Rick to give me some lame excuse.

“Why do you have to talk to me like that?”

“Mom? Sorry mom. I”m getting pulled over, and getting a ticket now, I can’t talk to you!” I tried to explain as fast as I could, but slow enough, so she could understand me.

“What? You have tickets? You could have called me sooner than this you know?”

“Mom! I can’t talk to you right now. I’m getting a ticket! For talking on the phone while driving. I can’t talk!” The excited voice of mine should have given her some clue. So I thought. But she started back in on why didn’t you call sooner. ” MOM! I love you. But I have to come up with a great lie to get out of a ticket right now. Call you latter.” I pushed the button to end the call and put the phone back. But I had this feeling. Glancing slowly back at the police car, but only noticed that he was no longer there. Slowly then turning to the drivers window.

” This is your ticket and if I could get you to sign right at the X please.” The officer instructed, as he pointed to the X and handed me a pen.

I signed it and handed it back. He tore my copy and gave me my driver’s licence, registration, and proof of insurance back to me.

” Just a tip.To lie, all get out of a ticket never works. Just don’t use the phone it is safer that way for everyone. Have nice day.” He tipped his hat and walked back to his car.

He was right! To lie just digs a deeper hole. That was not my real nature. But money was tight and seem like the easy way out of a tight spot. I was stupid! Maybe it was, that I hadn’t gone to church in a while. When I called my mom back and told her what was going on with our earlier phone call. She pasted me with that one as well.

It isn’t that church will do any thing for you by going to it. Like an instantaneous change of ones self! But it will, help those people who see a need to get better control of themself’s. By getting encouragement from others who also have chosen to do so as well. Or just giving people a chance to exchange ideas with each other. So yes, I was coming around to get back to the traditions of my earlier life. Maybe I should, give going to church a try once again?

The day came for getting ready for church. That wasn’t the easiest thing for me. I was used to sleeping in, and just slowing down my time at home on the weekends a bit. But now I find my self running around the house getting ready. You know the shower, getting drest up in my Sundays best so they say, having breakfast and coffee. All the while keeping an eye on the time. Now what! Did I forget something? I asked myself, rushing out of the house, as I got to the car I remembered, that I hadn’t got my phone. Nor, have I checked the messages on it yet. Maybe mom called?  Could there be something wrong? I ran back into the house and grabbed the phone and all the while telling my self that I would only check the messages at traffic lights, or the parking lot of church when I get there.

Getting there, to church that is, was half the trouble for the day, getting there with no problems should have been the first indication that the day was not over and proving to be to smooth to end up problem less. Nothing should go wrong, everyone should have a smooth day once in a while. The day you decide to go to church shood be that way,. Right?

Walking into the church still holding my phone should have told me otherwise. I tried to hook my phone to my belt holster and it only dropped to the carpeted floor. embarrassed, I picked up the phone.

“Welcome to church!” exclaimed this short man with a smile as he handed me the program. ” Have you come before? To this church I mean, or are you new to the area?” He offered a well weathered smile on his face.

” No! Not new to the area. Just thought I would give it a try.” I said some what distracted. I was thinking about the phone. I took the program and offered a smile back to him. ” Thanks. you have a great day as well.”

Getting away a few feet from the man, I checked the phone. It’s okay! Thank God! What a relief, and now to put it on silent mode. I quickly fumbled with it so as not to hold up other people from entering the church, that maybe waiting on me. Finishing up with it as quickly as I could, but now what? No holster to put it in.Thinking to solve a problem I put it into my front pocket, then off to the service.

Sitting down in the sanctuary brought about a new thought to my mind. What if by accident put the phone is on vibrate mode instead of silent mode? I hope no one will call me like the other day? That could be embarrassing. The thought brought a smile to my face, and then a look of concern. Did I put it on the vibrate mode by accident? That’s what it is like to be in my mind I tell ya. I always second guess myself all the time. All I need to do is check it. Easy! But with the phone in the front pocket, making it interesting at the least from a seated position. Just as I was about to go through the motions to check it.

” Can we all bow our heads in a moment of silent prayer for our troops in service of this great country.” Said the minister. Then bowed his head and the conjuration all followed along.

Have you ever seen 200 to 300 people in one big room come to compleat silence. You could hear a pin drop. Yet during the service, even when the minister is preaching, you can hear people with a low buzz talking or coming and going or what not. But not now! Just not a time to check the phone I guess. I tell myself as I followed along with everyone else.

No sooner had we all started to pray silently, than my phone embarrass me! Could it be God speaking to me? By using my crazy friends? Is he trying to tell me to get it together man! Clean up your act! I like to look at it, as if it was like, a cartoon moment like experience. You know? With good angel on one shoulder and bad angel on the other. Each one at times telling me to do this, or that! Both of them telling me now, no more like screaming at me now! “Shut that phone off! Your disturbing a science prayer! God Isn’t going to be happy, just move faster and turn it off!

So there I was fumbling with the phone in my front pocket. Everyone in the place was looking at me, even God was I’m sure! The phone was supposed to be on silent mode but… NO! It wasn’t even on vibrate mode. No porno like screams of OH GOD! Do to the good vibrations. It was far worse. My friends changed my ring tone to Modona’s song ” Like a virgin ” . Because my work can be noisy I had the volume cranked up full blast as well! So when you can hear a pin drop during prayer. Then this? Make no mistake, everyone was looking my way! No way there was any praying going on at all. Even the minister was seeking a peek at me I’m sure.

Finley I got to my phone and it turned off, every thing under control now. I thought. Just breathe a sigh of relief. But true to form I make thing harder on myself. Why? I don’t know why, just my nature I guess.

The woman next to me leaned over to me trying to make me feel better I sure. She said to me in a low voice almost a whisper. ” That’s why I leave my phone at home! But, I do like your song choice.”

“Sorry! I didn’t pick this song out. I hate it in fact. My friends know this, and changed it on my phone in secret. But glad they did now!” I answered with a half-smile, and a red embarrassed facial expression.

“So what kind of song was it, you know the one your friends changed it from? She asked. I think she was trying to calmed me down from the embarrassments, by engaging in some small talk. Making me feel more at ease.

True to form Oppen mouth and insert both feet! So I explained ” My friends know I hate traffic and spend a good part of my day on the road in it. So they thought they would down load the song Highway to hell by….” The look on this lady’s face just screamed stop. Before I could finish ” By the rock band AC/DC” Ya that’s right! I know just what your all thinking. But that’s just me. To answer this woman was the nice thing to do. That’s what we call a conversation / small talk. Being in a church or not, we should be honest with everything, so I believe anyway. probably too much honesty?

So Ya! GOD may use your cell phone to call you of sorts, just so you will rethink your positions in life. Or use of your cell phone at times. Maybe just to let everyone know it is okay to take a break. To slow life down without phones at times. I think so anyway? But Steve Jobs can you show GOD how to text message please? Maybe less embarrassing!

All the best!


About mindwarpfx

the truth has no agenda! a mind is a terrible thing to waste! not to pass on a smile that you receive from someone else is a missed opportunity and a lost moment to make a difrence in someone's life! To have choices made for you is to be held captive, to choose, is the first steps in freedom, to except responsibility is to fly and be free to experience life!


2 thoughts on “Cell phone: GOD: Embarrassment

  1. I wore an Iron Maiden “Number of the Beast” shirt to church when my girlfriend’s mom made me go. They’re pretty progressive there, but I think they still hate Satan.

    I could totally see someone answering their phone and pretending it was God. You could probably fool a few people into it.

    Posted by mooselicker | November 30, 2011, 4:22 pm

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November 2011
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