So do you turn your ears off at times? You know just when this has happened to you at times… Right? Maybe not quite those words, but some person was trying to get you’re attentions and said something like it. Truth is it was a busy day and I was just in a hurry, the things I had to do were like, presentations to give, papers to sort, phone calls to make, meetings to set up, and all on a dead line. “Now let me get some coffee, so I can get my caffeine rush on!” I was thinking. But right out of the ordinary this office social butterfly came up behind me, and started to talk to me. You know the kind of things… just about anything and all about nothing.
“Well what did you do over the weekend? Anything fun?” She paused just for a moment just short of letting you answer. “We were out camping, and you know, it was the best! But coming home was….” You’re mind is starting to drowned her out with the thoughts of how, as well as what you have to do first. Then you’re ears pick up the person is still talking to you. ” then we went to… ” Does it ever end? You’re thoughts are just about fed up and still the blah,blah,blah,blah,blah. It just keeps on going!
suddenly she said In the kind of voice that sounded upset “ Do you turn your ears off?”
You heard that! Loud and clear, whipping around only just in time to see the back of the butterfly walking away, even as the words you were about to say are starting to leave your mouth, but you stopped short of saying them. “Great she is going to tell everyone in the office… if she only. Damn! can’t she see I’m busy?” You’re minds thoughts are stroking you’re ego as you try to gain your motivation to keep on going with your business of the day.
People are already thinking that you are a loner! Because you are just doing the job you have, for that moment in the day, when everyone else is finding the time to waste time with idle chitchat. You look over at other office mates to see what they are doing, “are they talking about me? Do they think I’m…” thoughts are running wild in your head. “Can not let it bother me!” talking to yourself in a muffled low tone, hoping to build some self-confidence.
Truth is, the office maybe looking at you just because of nothing, but your impressions are just getting the best of you, or could it be the complaining of the social butterfly about the attention she is deserving but not getting. These thoughts just will not leave you’re head! Just how can you keep this kind of distraction from happening over and over, and how can you let the others know that you can have fun just as they all can? You are likeable! But just how can they get that impression? What is there, that I can afford to do to change all this social mess?
I think the best way is, like looking at a black and white photo with just one small part being red in color. You’re eyes automatically go to the red first, and then to the rest of the photos details. So the trick is becoming the red object by your hand, or by other means, as the rest of the office is looking at the black & white picture you’re presenting for the moment. Easy right? Okay may it will take some practice but entirely possible.
On you’re way around the office you will find a moment to confront her ( The social butterfly) but she should be around other people, or at least in ear shot of other people. That way they’re will be a possibility for others in being able to hear what you are about to say. At that moment you find the opportunity, then you will say.
“So you had fun camping and you had a great week-end? Sorry I didn’t get all of the story. Deadlines and meeting to set up and ….oh well, you know how it is! It was very interesting but couldn’t apply all of my attentions to hearing it, but could we get a drink after work, so you could tell me all about the parts I missed?” Then as you start to walk away slowly but still looking busy. ” Check you’re schedule and get back to me if you would like! You know,about that drink?” You add at a slightly louder tone.
Fish on at this point! You see, she now is, along with everyone else that was in ear shot, at a point of knowing that you’re work comes first, but you can still have fun! Also she now is being called out in a round about way, to answer the question, “is she truly a social butterfly or just a poser looking to waste time at work and just doesn’t like to do it alone?” A kind of friendly non-violent slap in the face but verbally so! All the while you become the red object in the black & white picture to everyone else. No way anyone can mistake you for being the office bitch, that no one wishes to talk to! You are just the over achievers / productive one, and maybe the boss will also see you can handle a difficult situation with a co-worker. Maybe you will not be bothered so much at busy times when you have so many deadlines. Oh the possibility’s! Who know just what kind of doors will be opened to you..? A raise in pay because of the productivity, you may also find out, you are to be the social butterfly out side of work. It is all good to just fantasize about the possibility’s.. right?
This coffee is really good this morning, and as you take another sip, you get interrupted, almost swallowing wrong and letting out a small cough, all caused by someone tapping you on your shoulder. “Are you listening to me, or do you just turn your ears off?
All the best!