Yes it was a sunny day and I was moving. Not so bad to do on a sunny day, but moving sucks! finding places on the truck wasn’t so bad, but time-consuming at best. Placing this over here because it fit better,and that one over there, and don’t forget to cover those things with a blanket just to keep from scratching things up. Oh Yea that can fit… well the truck was full, I had one file cabinet to go! Jumping up in the back of the truck to re-arrange things, to make some room, is when it happened. Like slow motion at first, but the file cabinet was going over board, with a thud and then a poof of papers, like leaves in the wind, my file cabinet has exploded on impact with the pavement!
Somewhat funny now to think about that experience,and I’m sure that you have some experiences like that as well? But the papers that were flying around in the wind like leaves. Are just like some of my memories of my dad. Life sometimes gives you experiences like tiny explosions. The kind of experiences that can be a disaster at the time but then you realize it, it’s life, and all you have is a mixed up pile of leave as memories, experiences, knowledge that was passed down to you. You took the time to just file them away in your mind. The file cabinet. But what happens when your world is turned upside down. Your file cabinet explodes?
The exploding file cabinet syndrome! Yes your mind is just a file cabinet. You have all of your experiences tucked way in there. everything that you have experienced as well as all that you have learned through the years, good or other wise. Placed in files in your mind. When you have some more experience, or memories with one person. Then you’re mind opens up the file and you’re subconscious fills the memories away, into the files in your mind. So if you wish, you can access them when you remember these times and events. But when a tragedy strike’s like the passing of my Dad… well, some times the files and the cabinet just explodes! memories are not the same any more. The ones you wish to re-examine latter are just..( Where did I put them ?) kind of out-of-order. It is more like a fading picture that was left out in the sun to long. The colors are all faded and only the strong / bold ones remain. You remember the times but the details are fuzzy, or your fear of them faded, as being lost, or forgotten, gone forever!
So what do you do? Picking up the papers from the true file cabinet was easy, but the sub conscience ones are just impossible, or so it seems. But the mind is a wonderful thing. It has a reset button in it I’m sure. Over time you remember pieces and put them back into the proper files in your mind. Some times it is like just having a thought of … Oh yea. Then a simile comes over your face and your mind has already placed the memory back into the proper files. At other times you get together with family or friends and old memories of events are told, and in that proses other memories come back to you, some you will share, others are your to keep to yourself. The point is it takes time. Nothing is lost for ever! It may seem like it, but it is still only a thought away, and with the proper stimulation, your files are rebuilt. It is only when we choose not to revisit those memories, as well as repeatedly make the choice not to revisit them with family and friends. That’s when the old picture that is faded, Fades along with those memories untill ultimately they fade away totally.
To remember our memories that we have is a good thing to do. It may unleash tears of pain or joy, as well, get you to miss people’s allot, or is it just the times that we shared. But these things are, you’re experiences, as well what has made you who you are. The files we keep may become messy, but we can clean them up. If missed placed we can find them, by keeping in touch with family / friends. If the pain is to great or to negative, just let the wind take them away! In the end we will over come the file cabinet explosions!
Cheers 2 YA DAD! Missed but never gone!
all the best!